George Gascoigne, The Adventures
of Master F.J. (1573)
The Printer to the Reader.
It hath been an old saying that while two
dogs do strive for a bone the third may come and carry it
away. And this proverb may (as I fear) be well verified in
me which take in hand the imprinting of this poetical Posy.
For the case seemeth doubtful, and I will disclose my conjecture:
Master H. W. in the beginning of this work
hath in his letter written to the Readers cunningly discharged
himself of any such misliking as the graver sort of grayhaired
judgers might perhaps conceive in the publication of these
pleasant Pamphlets. And next unto that learned preamble, the
letter of G. T. (by whom as seemeth, the first copy hereof
was unto the same H. W. delivered) doth with no less clerkly
cunning seek to persuade the readers that he also would by
no means have it published. Now I fear
very much -- all these words notwithstanding -- that these
two gentlemen were of one assent compact to have it imprinted,
and yet, finding by experience that nothing is so wellhandled
nowadays but that some malicious minds may either take occasion
to mislike it themselves or else find means to make it odious
unto others, they have therefore each of them politicly prevented
the danger of misreport, and suffered me the poor Printer
to run away with the palm of so perilous a victory.
Notwithstanding, having well perused the
work, I find nothing therein amiss to my judgment, unless
it be two or three wanton places passed over in the discourse
of an amorous enterprise. The which for as much as the words
are cleanly, (although the thing meant be somewhat natural),
I have thought good also to let them pass as they came to
me, and the rather because (as Master H. W. hath well alleged
in his letter to the Reader) the well-minded man may reap
some commodity out of the most frivolous works that are written.
And as the venomous spider wilt suck poison out of the most
wholesome herb, and the industrious Bee can gather honey out
of the most stinking weed, even so the discrete reader may
take a happy example by the most lascivious histories, although
the captious and harebrain'd heads can neither be encouraged
by the good nor forewarned by the bad. And thus much I have
thought good to say in excuse of some savours which may perchance
smell unpleasantly to some noses in some part of this poetical
posy.
Now it hath with this fault a greater commodity
than common posies have ben accustomed to present, and that
is this: you shall not be constrained to smell of the flowers
therein contained all at once, neither yet to take them up
in such order as they are sorted. But you may take any one
flower by itself, and if that smell not so pleasantly as you
would wish, I doubt not yet but you may find some other which
may supply the defects thereof. As thus: he which would have
good moral lessons clerkly handled, let him smell to the Tragedy
translated out of Euripides. He that would laugh at a pretty
conceit closely conveyed, let him peruse the comedy translated
out of Ariosto. He that would take example by the unlawful
affections of a lover bestowed upon an unconstant dame, let
them read the report in verse made by Dan Bartholmew of Bath,
or the discourse in prose of the adventures passed by master
F. J. (whom the reader may name Freeman Jones), for the better
understanding of the same. He that would see any particular
pang of love lively displayed, may here approve every Pamphlet
by the title, and so remain contented. As also divers godly
hymns and Psalms may in like manner be found in this record.
To conclude, the work is so universal as, either in one place
or other, any man's mind may therewith be satisfied. The which
I adventure (under pretext of this promise) to present unto
all indifferent eyes as followeth.
A discourse of the adventures passed by
Master F. J.
H. W. to the Reader.
In August last passed, my familiar friend
Master G. T. bestowed upon me the reading of a written Book
wherein he had collected divers discourses & verses invented
upon sundry occasions by sundry gentlemen, in mine opinion
right commendable for their capacity. And herewithal my said
friend charged me that I should use them only for mine own
particular commodity, and eftsoons safely deliver the original
copy to him again; wherein I must confess myself but half
a merchant, for the copy unto him I have safely redelivered.
But the work (for I thought it worthy to be published) I have
entreated my friend A. B. to imprint: as one that thought
better to please a number by common commodity then to feed
the humor of any private person by needless singularity. This
I have adventured for thy contentation, learned Reader. And
further have presumed of myself to christen it by the name
of A hundred sundry Flowers: In which poetical posy are set
forth many trifling fantasies, humoral passions, and strange
affects of a lover. And therein (although the wiser sort would
turn over the leaf as a thing altogether fruitless) yet I
myself have reaped this commodity, to sit and smile at the
fond devises of such as have enchained themselves in the golden
fetters of fantasy, and having bewrayed themselves to the
whole world, do yet conjecture that they walk unseen in a
net.
Some other things you may also find in this
Book which are as void of vanity as the first are lame for
government. And I must confess that (what to laugh at the
one, & what to learn by the other) I have contrary to
the charge of my said friend G. T. procured for these trifles
this day of publication. Whereat if the authors only repine,
and the number of other learned minds be thankful, I may then
boast to have gained a bushel of good will in exchange for
one pint of peevish choler. But if it fall out contrary to
expectation that the readers judgments agree not with mine
opinion in their commendations, I may then (unless their courtesies
supply my want of discretion), with loss of some labor, accompt
also the loss of my familiar friends; in doubt whereof, I
cover all our names, and refer you to the well written letter
of my friend G. T. next following, whereby you may more at
large consider of these occasions. And so I commend the praise
of other mens travails, together with the pardon of mine own
rashness, unto the well willing minds of discrete readers.
From my lodging near the Strand the xx. of January, 1572.
H. W.
The letter of G. T. to his very friend
H. W. concerning this work.
Remembering the late conference passed
between us in my lodging, and how you seemed to esteem some
Pamphlets which I did there show unto you far above their
worth in skill, I did straightway conclude the same your judgment
to proceed of two especial causes: One (and principal), the
stedfast good will which you have ever hitherto sithens our
first familiarity borne towards me. Another (of no less weight),
the exceeding zeal and favor that you bear to good letters.
The which (I agree with you) do no less bloom and appear in
pleasant ditties or compendious Sonnets devised by green youthful
capacities than they do fruitfully flourish unto perfection
in the riper works of grave and grayhaired writers. For as
in the last, the younger sort may make a mirror of perfect
life, so in the first, the most frosty bearded Philosopher
may take just occasion of honest recreation not altogether
without wholesome lessons tending to the reformation of manners.
For who doubteth but that Poets in their most feigned fables
and imaginations have metaphorically set forth unto us the
right rewards of virtues and the due punishments for vices?
Marry, indeed, I may not compare Pamphlets unto Poems, neither
yet may justly advant for our native countrymen that they
have in their verses hitherto (translations excepted) delivered
unto us any such notable volume as have been by Poets of antiquity
left unto the posterity. And the more pity that amongst so
many toward wits no one hath been hitherto encouraged to follow
the trace of that worthy and famous Knight Sir Geoffrey Chaucer
and, after many pretty devises spent in youth for the obtaining
a worthless victory, might consume and consummate his age
in describing the right pathway to perfect felicity with the
due preservation of the same. The which, although some may
judge over grave a subject to be handled in style metrical,
yet for that I have found in the verses of eloquent Latinists,
learned Greeks, & pleasant Italians, sundry directions
whereby a man may be guided toward th'attaining of that unspeakable
treasure, I have thus far lamented, that our countrymen have
chosen rather to win a passover praise by the wanton penning
of a few loving lays than to gain immortal fame by the clerkly
handling of so profitable a Theme. For if quickness of invention,
proper vocables, apt Epithets, and store of monosyllables
may help a pleasant brain to be crowned with Laurel, I doubt
not but both our countrymen & country language might be
enthronized among the old foreleaders unto the mount Helicon.
But now let me return to my first purpose,
for I have wandered somewhat beside the path, and yet not
clean out of the way. I have thought good (I say) to present
you with this written book, wherein you shall find a number
of Sonnets, lays, letters, Ballads, Rondelets, verlays and
verses, the works of your friend and mine, Master F. J., and
divers others, the which when I had with long travail confusedly
gathered together, I thought it then Opere precium to reduce
them into some good order. The which I have done, according
to my barren skill, in this written Book, commending it unto
you to read and to peruse, and desiring you, as I only do
adventure thus to participate the sight thereof unto your
former good will, even so that you will by no means make the
same common: but after your own recreation taken therein that
you will safely redeliver unto me the original copy. For otherwise
I shall not only provoke all the authors to be offended with
me, but further shall lose the opportunity of a greater matter,
half and more granted unto me already, by the willing consent
of one of them. And to be plain with you, my friend, he hath
written, which as far as I can learn did never yet come to
the reading or perusing of any man but himself, two notable
works. The one called the Sundry lots of love. The other of
his own invention entitled The climbing of an Eagles nest.
These things (and especially the later) doth seem by the name
to be a work worthy the reading. And the rather I judge so
because his fantasy is so occupied in the same, as that contrary
to his wonted use, he hath hitherto withheld it from sight
of any of his familiars until it be finished, you may guess
him by his Nature. And therefore I require your secrecy herein,
least if he hear the contrary, we shall not be able by any
means to procure these other at his hands. So fare you well,
from my Chamber this tenth of August, 1572.
Yours or not his own.
G. T.
When I had with no small entreaty obtained
of Master F. J. and sundry other toward young gentlemen the
sundry copies of these sundry matters, then as well for that
the number of them was great, as also for that I found none
of them so barren but that (in my judgment) had in it Aliquid
Salis, and especially being considered by the very proper
occasion whereupon it was written (as they themselves did
always with the verse rehearse unto me the cause that then
moved them to write), I did with more labor gather them into
some order, and so placed them in this register. Wherein as
near as I could guess, I have set in the first places those
which Master F. J. did compile. And to begin with this his
history that ensueth, it was (as he declared unto me) written
upon this occasion. The said F. J. chanced once, in the north
parts of this Realm, to fall in company of a very fair gentlewoman
whose name was Mistress Eleanor, unto whom bearing a hot affection,
he first adventured to write this letter following.
Mistress, I pray you understand that
being altogether a stranger in these parts, my good hap
hath been to behold you to my (no small) contentation, and
my evil hap accompanies the same with such imperfection
of my deserts as that I find always a ready repulse in mine
own frowardness. So that considering the natural climate
of the country, I must say that I have found fire in frost.
And yet comparing the inequality of my deserts with the
least part of your worthiness, I feel a continual frost
in my most fervent fire. Such is then th'extremity of my
passions, the which I could never have been content to commit
unto this telltale paper were it not that I am destitute
of all other help. Accept therefore, I beseech you, the
earnest good will of a more trusty than worthy servant,
who, being thereby encouraged, may supply the defects of
his ability with ready trial of dutiful loyalty. And let
this poor paper (besprent with salt tears, and blowen over
with scalding sighs) be saved of you as a safe guard for
your sampler, or a bottom to wind your sowing silk, that
when your last needlefull is wrought, you may return to
reading thereof and consider the care of him who is
More yours than his own.
F. J.
This letter by her received (as I have heard
him say) her answer was this: She took occasion one day at
his request to dance with him, the which doing, she bashfully
began to declare unto him that she had read over the writing
which he delivered unto her, with like protestation, that,
as at delivery thereof, she understood not for what cause
he thrust the same into her bosom, so now she could not perceive
thereby any part of his meaning, nevertheless at last seemed
to take upon her the matter, and though she disabled herself,
yet gave him thanks as &c. Whereupon he brake the brawl,
and walking abroad devised immediately these few verses following.
Fair Bersabe the bright once, bathing
in a Well,
With dew bedimm'd King David's eyes that ruled Israel,
And Salomon himself, the source of sapience,
Against the force of such assaults could make but small
defense:
To it the stoutest yield, and strongest feel like woe,
Bold Hercules and Samson both did prove it to be so.
What wonder seemeth then, when stars stand thick in skies,
If such a blazing star have power to dim my dazzled eyes?
L'envoie.
To you these few suffice, your wits be
quick and good,
You can conject by change of hue what humors feed my blood.
F. J.
I have heard the Author say, that these
were the first verses that ever he wrote upon like occasion.
The which, considering the matter precedent, may in my judgment
be well allowed, and to judge his doings by the effects, he
declared unto me that before he could put the same in legible
writing, it pleased the said Mistress Eleanor of her courtesy
thus to deal with him. Walking in a garden among divers other
gentlemen & gentlewomen, with a little frowning smile
in passing by him, she delivered unto him a paper with these
words: "For that I understand not," quoth she, "th'intent
of your letters, I pray you take them here again, and bestow
them at your pleasure."
The which done and said, she passed by without
change either of pace or countenance. F. J. somewhat troubled
with her angry look, did suddenly leave the company, &
walking into a park near adjoining, in great rage began to
wreak his malice on this poor paper, and the same did rend
and tear in pieces. When suddenly at a glance he perceived
it was not of his own handwriting, and therewithal abashed,
upon better regard he perceived in one piece thereof written
in Roman these letters SHE:, wherefore placing all the pieces
thereof as orderly as he could, he found therein written these
few lines hereafter following.
Your sudden departure from our pastime
yesterday did enforce me for lack of chosen company to return
unto my work, wherein I did so long continue till at the
last the bare bottom did draw unto my remembrance your strange
request. And although I found therein no just cause to credit
your colored words, yet have I thought good hereby to requite
you with like courtesy, so that at least you shall not condemn
me for ungrateful. But as to the matter therein contained,
if I could persuade myself that there were in me any coals
to kindle such sparks of fire, I might yet peradventure
be drawn to believe that your mind were frozen with like
fear. But as no smoke ariseth where no coal is kindled,
so without cause of affection the passion is easy to be
cured. This is all that I understand of your dark letters.
And as much as I mean to answer.
SHE.
My friend F. J. hath told me divers times
that immediately upon receipt hereof, he grew in jealousy
that the same was not her own device. And therein I have no
less allowed his judgment then commended his invention of
the verses and letters before rehearsed. For as by the style
this letter of hers bewrayeth that it was not penned by a
woman's capacity, so the sequel of her doings may decipher
that she had mo' ready clerks then trusty servants in store.
Well, yet as the perfect hound, when he hath chased the hurt
deer amid the whole herd, will never give over till he have
singled it again, even so F. J., though somewhat abashed with
this doubtful show, yet still constant in his former intention,
ceased not by all possible means to bring this Deer yet once
again to the Bows whereby she might be the more surely stricken,
and so in the end enforced to yield. Wherefore he thought
not best to commit the said verses willingly into her custody,
but privily lost them in her chamber, written in counterfeit.
And after on the next day thought better to reply, either
upon her or upon her Secretary, in this wise as here followeth.
The much that you have answered is very
much, and much more than I am able to reply unto. Nevertheless,
in mine own defense thus much I allege: that if my sudden
departure pleased not you, I cannot myself therewith be
pleased, as one that seeketh not to please many and more
desirous to please you then any.
The cause of mine affection, I suppose you behold daily,
for (self love avoided) every wight may judge of themselves
as much as reason persuadeth. The which if it be in your
good nature suppressed with bashfulness, then mighty love
grant you may once behold my wan cheeks washed in woe that
therein my salt tears may be a mirror to represent your
own shadow, and that like unto Narcissus you may be constrained
to kiss the cold waves wherein your counterfeit is so lively
portrayed. For if abundance of other matters failed to draw
my gazing eyes in contemplation of so rare excellency, yet
might these your letters both frame in me an admiration
of such divine esprit and a confusion to my dull understanding
which so rashly presumed to wander in this endless Labyrinth.
Such I esteem you, and thereby am become such, and even
HE. F. J.
This letter finished and fair written over,
his chance was to meet her alone in a Gallery of the same
house: where (as I have heard him declare) his manhood in
this kind of combat was first tried, and therein I can compare
him to a valiant Prince, who distressed with power of enemies
had committed the safeguard of his person to treaty of Ambassade,
and suddenly (surprised with a Camisado in his own trenches)
was enforced to yield as prisoner. Even so my friend F. J.,
lately overcome by the beautiful beams of this Dame Eleanor,
and having now committed his most secret intent to these late
rehearsed letters, was at unawares encountered with his friendly
foe, and constrained either to prepare some new defense, or
else like a recreant to yield himself as already vanquished.Wherefore
(as in a trance) he lifted up his dazzled eyes, & so continued
in a certain kind of admiration, not unlike the Astronomer
who (having, after a whole nights travail, in the grey morning
found his desired star) hath fixed his hungry eyes to behold
the Comet long looked for: whereat this gracious Dame (as
one that could discern the sun before her chamber windows
were wide open) did deign to embolden the fainting Knight
with these or like words.
"I perceive now," quoth she, "how
mishap doth follow me, that having chosen this walk for a
simple solace, I am here disquieted by the man that meaneth
my destruction." & therewithal, as half angry, began
to turn her back, when as my friend F. J., now awaked, 'gan
thus salute her.
"Mistress," quoth he, "and
I perceive now that good hap haunts me, for being by lack
of opportunity constrained to commit my welfare unto these
blabbing leaves of bewraying paper," (showing that in
his hand) "I am here recomforted with happy view of my
desired joy." & therewithal, reverently kissing her
hand, did softly distrain her slender arm & so stayed
her departure.
The first blow thus proffered & defended,
they walked & talked traversing divers ways, wherein I
doubt not but that my friend F. J. could quit himself reasonably
well. And though it stood not with duty of a friend that I
should therein require to know his secrets, yet of himself
he declared thus much, that after long talk she was contented
to accept his proffered service, but yet still disabling herself
and seeming to marvel what cause had moved him to subject
his liberty so willfully, or at least in a prison (as she
termed it) so unworthy. Whereunto I need not rehearse his
answer but suppose now that thus they departed: saving I had
forgotten this, she required of him the last rehearsed letter,
saying that his first was lost & now she lacked a new
bottom for her silk, the which I warrant you he granted: and
so proffering to take an humble congé by Bezo las manos,
she graciously gave him the zuccado dez labros: and so for
then departed. And thereupon recounting her words, he compiled
these following, which he termed Terza sequenza, to sweet
Mistress SHE.
Of thee dear Dame, three lessons would
I learn:
What reason first persuades the foolish Fly
(As soon as she a candle can discern)
To play with flame till she be burnt thereby?
Or what may moue the Mouse to bite the bait
Which strikes the trap that stops her hungry breath?
What calls the Bird where snares of deep deceit
Are closely couch'd to draw her to her death?
Consider well what is the cause of this,
And though percase thou wilt not so confess,
Yet deep desire, to gain a heavenly bliss,
May drown the mind in dole and dark distress:
Oft is it seen (whereat my heart may bleed)
Fools play so long till they be caught in deed.
And then
It is a heaven to see them hop and skip,
And seek all shifts to shake their shackles off:
It is a world, to see them hang the lip
Who erst at love were wont to scorn and scoff.
But as the Mouse, once caught in crafty trap,
May bounce and beat against the boarden wall,
Till she have brought her head in such misshape,
That down to death her fainting limbs must fall:
And as the Fly once singed in the flame,
Cannot command her wings to wave away:
But by the heel, she hangeth in the same
Till cruel death her hasty journey stay.
So they that seek to break the links of love
Strive with the stream, and this by pain I prove.
For when
I first beheld that heavenly hue of thine,
Thy stately stature and thy comely grace,
I must confess these dazzled eyes of mine
Did wink for fear, when I first view'd thy face:
But bold desire did open them again,
And bad me look till I had look'd too long,
I pitied them that did procure my pain,
And lov'd the looks that wrought me all the wrong:
And as the Bird once caught but works her woe
That strives to leave the limed twigs
behind:
Even so the more I strave to part thee fro',
The greater grief did grow within my mind:
Remediless then must I yield to thee
And crave no more, thy servant but to be.
Till then and ever. HE. F.J.
When he had well sorted this sequence, he
sought oportunity to leave it where she might find it before
it were lost. And now the coals began to kindle whereof but
erewhile she feigned herself altogether ignorant. The flames
began to break out on every side, & she to quench them
shut up herself in her chamber solitarily. But as the smithy
gathers greater heat by casting on of water, even so the more
she absented herself from company, the fresher was the grief
which galded her remembrance: so that at last the report was
spread through the house that Mistress Eleanor was sick. At
which news F. J. took small comfort: nevertheless Dame Venus
with good aspect did yet thus much further his enterprise.
The Dame (whether it were by sudden change,
or of wonted custom) fell one day into a great bleeding at
the nose. For which accident, the said F. J., amongst other
pretty conceits, hath a present remedy, whereby he took occasion
(when they of the house had all in vain sought many ways to
stop her bleeding) to work his feat in this wise: First, he
pleaded ignorance, as though he knew not her name, and therefore
demanded the same of one other Gentlewoman in the house (whose
name was Mistress Frances), who when she had to him declared
that her name was Eleanor, he said these words or very like
in effect:
"If I thought I should not offend Mistress
Eleanor, I would not doubt to stop her bleeding without either
pain or difficulty."
This gentlewoman, somewhat tickled with
his words, did incontinent make relation thereof to the said
Mistress Eleanor, who immediately (declaring that F. J. was
her late received servant) returned the said messenger unto
him with especial charge that he should employ his devoir
towards the recovery of her health, with whom the same F.
J. repaired to the chamber of his desired: and, finding her
set in a chair leaning on the one side over a silver basin,
after his due reverence, he laid his hand on her temples and,
privily rounding her in her ear, desired her to command a
Hazel stick and a knife. The which being brought, he delivered
unto her, saying on this wise.
"Mistress, I will speak certain words
in secret to myself and do require no more but when you hear
me say openly this word Amen, that you with this knife will
make a nick upon this hazel stick. And when you have made
five nicks, command me also to cease."
The Dame, partly of good will to the knight
and partly to be stanched of her bleeding, commanded her maid
and required the other gentils somewhat to stand aside. Which
done, he began his orisons, wherein he had not long muttered
before he pronounced Amen, wherewith the Lady made a nick
on the stick with her knife. The said F. J. continued to another
Amen, when the Lady having made another nick felt her bleeding
began to stanch: and so by the third Amen thoroughly stanched.
F. J. then changing his prayers into private
talk, said softly unto her, "Mistress, I am glad that
I am hereby enabled to do you some service, and as the stanching
of your own blood may some way recomfort you, so if the shedding
of my blood may any way content you, I beseech you command
it, for it shall be evermore readily employed in your service,"
and therewithal with a loud voice pronounced Amen.
Wherewith the good Lady making a nick did
secretly answer thus: "Good servant," quoth she,
"I must needs think myself right happy to have gained
your service and good will, and be you sure that although
there be in me no such desert as may draw you into this depth
of affection, yet such as I am, I shall be always glad to
show myself thankful unto you, and now, if you think yourself
assured that I shall bleed no more, do then pronounce your
fifth Amen."
The which pronounced, she made also her
fifth nick, and held up her head, calling the company unto
her and declaring unto them that her bleeding was thoroughly
stanched.
Well, it were long to tell what sundry opinions
were pronounced upon this act, and I do dwell overlong in
the discourses of this F. J., especially having taken in hand
only to copy out his verses, but for the circumstance doth
better declare the effect, I will return to my former tale.
F. J., tarrying a while in the chamber,
found opportunity to lose his sequence near to his desired
Mistress: and after congé taken, departed.
After whose departure, the Lady arose out
of her chair, & her maid, going about to remove the same,
espied & took up the writing. The which her mistress perceiving,
gan suddenly conjecture that the same had in it some like
matter to the verses once before left in like manner, &
made semblant to mistrust that the same should be some words
of conjuration: and taking it from her maid, did peruse it
& immediately said to the company that she would not forgo
the same for a great treasure. But to be plain, I think that
(F. J. excepted) she was glad to be rid of all company until
she had with sufficient leisure turned over & retossed
every card in this sequence. And not long after, being now
tickled thorough all the veins with an unknown humor, adventured
of herself to commit unto a like Ambassador the deciphering
of that which hitherto she had kept more secret, & thereupon
wrote with her own hand & head in this wise:
Good servant, I am out of all doubt much
beholding unto you, and I have great comfort by your means
in the stanching of my blood, and I take great comfort to
read your letters, and I have found in my chamber divers
songs which I think to be of your making, and I promise
you, they are excellently made, and I assure you that I
will be ready to do for you any pleasure that I can during
my life: wherefore I pray you come to my chamber once in
a day till I come abroad again, and I will be glad of your
company, and for because that you have promised to be my
HE: I will take upon me this name, your SHE.
This letter I have seen of her own handwriting.
And as therein the Reader may find great difference of Style
from her former letter, so may you now understand the cause.
She had in the same house a friend, a servant, a Secretary:
what should I name him? such one as she esteemed in time past
more than was cause in time present, and to make my tale good,
I will (by report of my very good friend F. J.) describe him
unto you. He was in height the proportion of two Pigmies,
in breadth the thickness of two bacon hogs, of presumption
a Giant, of power a Gnat, Apishly witted, Knavishly manner'd,
& crabbedly favored. What was there in him then to draw
a fair Lady's liking? Marry sir, even all in all, a well lined
purse, wherewith he could at every call provide such pretty
conceits as pleased her peevish fantasy, and by that means
he had thoroughly (long before) insinuated himself with this
amorous dame. This manling, this minion, this slave, this
secretary, was now by occasion ridden to London forsooth:
and though his absence were unto her a disfurnishing of eloquence,
it was yet unto F. J. an opportunity of good advantage, for
when he perceived the change of her style, and thereby grew
in some suspicion that the same proceeded by absence of her
chief Chancellor, he thought good now to smite while the iron
was hot and to lend his Mistress such a pen in her Secretaries
absence as he should never be able at his return to amend
the well writing thereof. Wherefore according to her command
he repaired once every day to her chamber at the least, whereas
he guided himself so well and could devise such store of sundry
pleasures and pastimes that he grew in favor not only with
his desired but also with the rest of the gentlewomen.
And one day passing the time amongst them,
their play grew to this end, that his Mistress, being Queen,
demanded of him these three questions.
"Servant," quoth she, "I
charge you, as well upon your allegiance being now my subject,
as also upon your fidelity having vowed your service unto
me, that you answer me these three questions by the very truth
of your secret thought. First, what thing in this universal
world doth most rejoice and comfort you?"
F. J., abasing his eyes towards the ground,
took good advisement in his answer, when a fair gentlewoman
of the company clapped him on the shoulder, saying, "How
now sir, is your hand on your halfpenny?"
To whom he answered, "No, fair Lady,
my hand is on my heart, and yet my heart is not in mine own
hands":
Wherewithal abashed, turning towards dame
Eleanor he said, "My sovereign & Mistress, according
to the charge of your command and the duty that I owe you,
my tongue shall bewray unto you the truth of mine intent.
At this present, a reward given me without desert doth so
rejoice me with continual remembrance thereof, that though
my mind be so occupied to think thereon as that day nor night
I can be quiet from that thought, yet the joy and pleasure
which I conceive in the same is such that I can neither be
cloyed with continuance thereof, nor yet afraid that any mishap
can countervail so great a treasure. This is to me such a
heaven to dwell in as that I feed by day and repose by night
upon the fresh record of this reward."
(This, as he sayeth. he meant by the kiss
that she lent him in the Gallery, and by the profession of
her last letters and words.)
Well, though this answer be somewhat misty,
yet let my friend's excuse be that taken upon the sudden he
thought better to answer darkly than to be mistrusted openly.
Her second question was, what thing in this
life did most grieve his heart and disquiet his mind, whereunto
he answered that although his late rehearsed joy were incomparable,
yet the greatest enemy that disturbed the same was the privy
worm of his own guilty conscience, which accused him evermore
with great unworthiness: and that this was his greatest grief.
The Lady, biting upon the bit at his cunning
answers made unto these two questions, gan thus reply. "Servant,
I had thought to have touched you yet nearer with my third
question, but I will refrain to attempt your patience. And
now for my third demand, answer me directly: in what manner
this passion doth handle you? and how these contraries may
hang together by any possibility of concord? For your words
are strange."
F. J., now rousing himself boldly, took
occasion thus to handle his answer.
"Mistress," quoth he, "my
words indeed are strange, but yet my passion is much stranger,
and thereupon this other day to content mine own fantasy I
devised a Sonnet, which although it be a piece of Cockerels
music and such as I might be ashamed to publish in this company,
yet because my truth in this answer may the better appear
unto you, I pray you vouchsafe to receive the same in writing,"
and drawing a paper out of his packet presented it unto her,
wherein was written this Sonnet.
Love, hope, and death do stir in me such
strife,
As never man but I led such a life.
First, burning love doth wound my heart to death,
And when death comes at call of inward grief,
Cold lingering hope doth feed my fainting breath
Against my will, and yields my wound relief:
So that I live, but yet my life is such,
As death would never grieve me half so much.
No comfort then but only this I taste,
To salve such sore, such hope will never want,
And with such hope, such life will ever last,
And with such life, such sorrows are not scant.
Oh strange desire, O life with torments toss'd:
Through too much hope, mine only hope is lost.
even HE. F. J.
This Sonnet was highly commended, and in
my judgment it deserveth no less. I have heard F. J. say that
he borrowed th'invention of an Italian: but, were it a translation
or invention, (if I be judge) it is both pretty and pithy.
His duty thus performed, their pastimes
ended; and, at their departure, for a watchword he counseled
his Mistress by little and little to walk abroad, saying that
the Gallery near adjoining was so pleasant, as if he were
half dead he thought that by walking therein he might be half
and more revived.
"Think you so, servant?" quoth
she. "And the last time that I walked there I suppose
I took the cause of my malady, but by your advice, and for
you have so clerkly stanched my bleeding, I will assay to
walk there tomorrow."
"Mistress," quoth he, "and
in more full accomplishment of my duty towards you and in
sure hope that you will use the same only to your own private
commodity, will there await upon you, & between you &
me will teach you the full order how to stanch the bleeding
of any creature, whereby you shall be as cunning as myself."
"Gramercy, good servant," quoth
she, "I think you lost the same in writing here yesterday,
but I cannot understand it, and therefore tomorrow (if I feel
myself any thing amended) I will send for you thither to instruct
me thoroughly."
Thus they departed. And at supper time,
the Knight of the Castle, finding fault that his guest's stomach
served him no better, began to accuse the grossness of his
viands. To whom one of the gentlewomen which had passed the
afternoon in his company answered, "Nay sir," quoth
she, "this gentleman hath a passion, the which once in
a day at the least doth kill his appetite."
"Are you so
well acquainted with the disposition of his body?" quoth
the Lord of the house.
"By his own saying," quoth she,
"& not otherwise."
"Fair Lady," quoth F. J., "you
either mistook me or overheard me then, for I told of a comfortable
humor which so fed me with continual remembrance of joy as
that my stomach being full thereof doth desire in manner none
other victuals."
"Why sir," quoth the host, "do
you then live by love?"
"God forbid, Sir," quoth F. J.,
"for then my cheeks would be much thinner then they be,
but there are divers other greater causes of joy then the
doubtful lots of love, and for mine own part, to be plain,
I cannot love and I dare not hate."
"I would I thought so," quoth
the gentlewoman.
And thus with pretty nips they passed over
their supper: which ended, the Lord of the house required
F. J. to dance and pass the time with the gentlewomen, which
he refused not to do. But suddenly, before the music was well
tuned, came out Dame Eleanor in her night attire and said
to the Lord that (supposing the solitariness of her chamber
had increased her malady) she came out for her better recreation
to see them dance.
"Well done, daughter," quoth the
Lord.
"And I, Mistress," quoth F. J.,
"would gladly bestow the leading of you about this great
chamber, to drive away the faintness of your fever."
"No, good servant," quoth the
Lady, "but in my stead I pray you dance with this fair
Gentlewoman," pointing him to the Lady that had so taken
him up at supper. F. J. to avoid mistrust, did agree to her
request without further entreaty. The dance begun, this Knight
marched on with the Image of St. Frances in his hand, and
St. Eleanor in his heart.
The violins at end of the pavan stayed a
while, in which time this Dame said to F. J. on this wise:
"I am right sorry for you in two respects, although the
familiarity have hitherto had no great continuance between
us, and as I do lament your case, so do I rejoice (for mine
own contentation) that I shall now see a due trial of the
experiment which I have long desired."
This said, she kept silence. When F. J.
(somewhat astonied with her strange speech) thus answered:
"Mistress, although I cannot conceive the meaning of
your words, yet by courtesy I am constrained to yield you
thanks for your good will, the which appeareth no less in
lamenting of mishaps than in rejoicing at good fortune. What
experiment you mean to try by me, I know not, but I dare assure
you that my skill in experiments is very simple."
Herewith the Instruments sounded a new Measure,
and they passed forthwards, leaving to talk until the noise
ceased: which done, the gentlewoman replied. "I am sorry
sir, that you did erewhile deny love and all his laws, and
that in so open audience."
"Not so," quoth F. J., "but
as the word was roundly taken, so can I readily answer it
by good reason."
"Well," quoth she, "how if
the hearers will admit no reasonable answer?"
"My reason shall yet be nevertheless,"
quoth he, "in reasonable judgment." Herewith she
smiled, and he cast a glance towards dame Eleanor askance,
as who sayeth art thou pleased?
Again the viols called them forthwards,
and again at the end of the braule said F. J. to this gentlewoman:
"I pray you, Mistress, and what may be the second cause
of your sorrow sustained in my behalf?"
"Nay, soft," quoth she, "percase
I have not yet told you the first. But content yourself, for
the second cause you shall never know at my hands until I
see due trial of the experiment which I have long desired."
"Why then," quoth he, "I
can but wish a present occasion to bring the same to effect,
to the end that I might also understand the mystery of your
meaning."
"And so might you fail of your purpose,"
quoth she, "for I mean to be better assured of him that
shall know the depth of mine intent in such a secret than
I do suppose that any creature (one except) may be of you."
"Gentlewoman," quoth he, "you
speak Greek, the which I have now forgotten, and mine instructors
are too far from me at this present to expound your words."
"Or else too near," quoth she,
and so, smiling, stayed her talk when the music called them
to another dance.
Which ended, F. J. half afraid of false
suspect, and more amazed at this strange talk, gave over,
and bringing Mistress Frances to her place was thus saluted
by his Mistress. "Servant," quoth she, "I had
done you great wrong to have danced with you, considering
that this gentlewoman and you had former occasion of so weighty
conference."
"Mistress," said F. J., "you
had done me great pleasure, for by our conference I have but
brought my brains in a busy conjecture."
"I doubt not," said his Mistress,
"but you will end that business easily."
"It is hard," said F. J., "to
end the thing whereof yet I have found no beginning."
His Mistress with change of countenance
kept silence, whereat dame Frances, rejoicing, cast out this
bone to gnaw on. "I perceive," quoth she,"it
is evil to halt before a Cripple."
F. J. perceiving now that his Mistress waxed
angry, thought good on her behalf thus to answer: "And
it is evil to hop before them that run for the Bell."
His Mistress replied, "And it is evil
to hang the Bell at their heels which are always running."
The Lord of the Castle, overhearing these
proper quips, rose out of his chair, and coming towards F.
J. required him to dance a Galliard.
"Sir," said F. J., "I have
hitherto at your appointment but walked about the house. Now,
if you be desirous to see one tumble a turn or twain, it is
like enough that I might provoke you to laugh at me. But in
good faith, my dancing days are almost done, and therefore,
sir," quoth he, "I pray you speak to them that are
more nimble at tripping on the toe."
Whilst he was thus saying, dame Eleanor
had made her Congé and was now entering the door of
her chamber, when F. J., all amazed at her sudden departure,
followed to take leave of his Mistress: but she, more then
angry, refused to hear his good night, and entering her chamber
caused her maid to clap the door.
F. J. with heavy cheer returned to his company,
and Mistress Frances, to touch his sore with a corrosive,
said to him softly in this wise. "Sir, you may now perceive
that this our country cannot allow the French manner of dancing,
for they (as I have heard tell) do more commonly dance to
talk then entreat to dance."
F. J. hoping to drive out one nail with
another, and thinking this a mean most convenient to suppress
all jealous supposes, took Mistress Frances by the hand and
with a heavy smile answered, "Mistress, and I (because
I have seen the French manner of dancing) will eftsoons entreat
you to dance a Barginet."
"What mean you by this?" quoth
Mistress Frances.
"If it please you to follow,"
quoth he, "you shall see that I can jest without joy,
and laugh without lust," and calling the musicians, caused
them softly to sound the Tinternell, when he clearing his
voice did Alla Napolitana apply these verses following unto
the measure:
In prime of lusty years, when Cupid caught
me in,
And nature taught the way to love, how I might best begin:
To please my wand'ring eye in beauties tickle trade,
To gaze on each that passed by, a careless sport I made.
With sweet enticing bait, I fish'd for many a dame,
And warmed me by many a fire, yet felt I not the flame:
But when at last I spied the face that please me most,
The coals were quick, the wood was dry, & I began to
toast.
And smiling yet full oft, I have beheld
that face,
When in my heart I might bewail mine own unlucky case:
And oft again with looks that might bewray my grief,
I pleaded hard for just reward, and sought to find relief.
What will you more? So oft my gazing eyes
did seek
To see the Rose and Lily strive upon that lively cheek,
Till at the last I spied and by good proof I found
That in that face was painted plain the piercer of my wound.
Then, all too late aghast, I did my foot
retire,
And sought with secret sighs to quench my greedy scalding
fire:
But lo, I did prevail as much to guide my will,
As he that seeks with halting heel to hop against the hill.
Or as the feeble sight would search the
sunny beam,
Even so I found but labor lost to strive against the stream.
Then gan I thus resolve, since liking forced love,
Should I mislike my happy choice before I did it prove?
And since none other joy I had but her
to see,
Should I retire my deep desire? No, no, it would not be:
Though great the duty were, that she did well deserve,
And I poor man, unworthy am so worthy a wight to serve.
Yet hope my comfort stay'd, that she would
have regard
To my good will that nothing crav'd but like for just reward:
I see the Falcon gent sometimes will take delight
To seek the solace of her wing and dally with a kite.
The fairest Wolf will choose the foulest
for her make,
And why? because he doth endure most sorrow for her sake.
Even so had I like hope when doleful days were spent,
When weary words were wasted well, to open true entent.
When floods of flowing tears had wash'd
my weeping eyes,
When trembling tongue had troubled her with loud lamenting
cries,
At last her worthy will would pity this my plaint
And comfort me, her own poor slave, whom fear had made so
faint.
Wherefore I made a vow the stony rock should start
Ere I presume to let her slip out of my faithful heart.
L'envoie.
And when she saw by proof the pith of
my good will,
She took in worth this simple song, for want of better skill.
And as my just deserts her gentle heart did move,
She was content to answer thus: I am content to love.
F. J.
These verses are more in number than do
stand with contentation of some judgments, and yet, the occasion
thoroughly considered, I can commend them with the rest, for
it is (as may be well termed) continua oratio, declaring a
full discourse of his first love: wherein (over and besides
that the Epithets are aptly applied & the verse of itself
pleasant enough) I note that by it he meant in clouds to decipher
unto Mistress Frances such matter as she would snatch at,
and yet could take no good hold of the same. Furthermore,
it answered very aptly to the note which the music sounded,
as the skilful reader by due trial may approve.
This singing dance or dancing song ended,
Mistress Frances, giving due thanks, seemed weary also of
the company, and proffering to depart, gave yet this farewell
to F. J., not vexed by choler, but pleased with contentation,
and called away by heavy sleep:
"I am constrained," quoth she,
"to bid you good night," and so turning to the rest
of the company, took her leave.
Then the Master of the house commanded a
torch to light F. J. to his lodging, where (as I have heard
him say) the sudden change of his Mistress' countenance together
with the strangeness of Mistress Frances' talk made such an
encounter in his mind that he could take no rest that night:
wherefore in the morning rising very early, although it were
far before his Mistress' hour, he cooled his choler by walking
in the Gallery near to her lodging, and there in this passion
compiled these verses following:
A cloud of care hath cov'red all my coast
And storms of strife do threaten to appear;
The waves of woe which I mistrusted most
Have broke the banks wherein my life lay clear;
Chips of ill chance are fallen amid my choice
To mar the mind that meant for to rejoice.
Before I sought, I found the haven of hap
Wherein (once found) I sought to shroud my ship,
But low'ring love hath lift me from her lap
And crabbed lot begins to hang the lip.
The drops of dark mistrust do fall so thick,
They pierce my coat and touch my skin at quick.
What may be said, where truth cannot prevail?
What plea may serve, where will itself is judge?
What reason rules, where right and reason fail?
Remediless then, must the guiltless trudge
And seek out care to be the carving knife
To cut the thread that ling'reth such a life.
F. J.
This is but a rough meter, and reason, for
it was devised in great disquiet of mind and written in rage,
yet have I seen much worse pass the musters, yea, and where
both the Lieutenant and Provost Marshall were men of ripe
judgment: and as it is I pray you let it pass here, for the
truth is that F. J. himself had so slender liking thereof,
or at least of one word escaped therein, that he never presented
it -- but to the matter.
When he had long (and all in vain) looked
for the coming of his Mistress into her appointed walk, he
wand'red into the park near adjoining to the Castle wall,
where his chance was to meet Mistress Frances accompanied
with one other Gentlewoman, by whom he passed with a reverence
of curtsy: and so walking on, came into the side of a thicket,
where he sat down under a tree to allay his sadness with solitariness.
Mistress Frances, partly of courtesy and
affection, and partly to content her mind by continuance of
such talk as they had commenced over night, entreated her
companion to go with her unto this tree of reformation, whereas
they found the Knight with his arms unfolded in a heavy kind
of contemplation, unto whom Mistress Frances stepped apace
(right softly) & at unwares gave this salutation.
"I little thought Sir Knight,"
quoth she, "by your evensong yesternight to have found
you presently at such a morrow mass, but I perceive you serve
your Saint with double devotion; and I pray God grant you
treble meed for your true intent."
F. J., taken thus upon the sudden, could
none otherwise answer but thus: "I told you, Mistress,"
quoth he, "that I could laugh without lust and jest without
joy." And there withal starting up, with a more bold
countenance came towards the Dames, proffering unto them his
service, to wait upon them homewards.
"I have heard say oft times,"
quoth Mistress Frances, "that it is hard to serve two
Masters at one time, but we will be right glad of your company."
"I thank you," quoth F. J., and
so, walking on with them, fell into sundry discourses, still
refusing to touch any part of their former communication,
until Mistress Frances said unto him:
"By my troth," quoth she, "I
would be your debtor these two days, to answer me truly but
unto one question that I will propound."
"Fair Gentlewoman," quoth he,
"you shall not need to become my debtor, but if it please
you to quit question by question, I will be more ready to
gratify you in this request than either reason requireth or
than you would be willing to work my contentation."
"Master F. J.," quoth she, &
that sadly, "peradventure you know but a little how willing
I would be to procure your contentation. But you know that
hitherto familiarity hath taken no deep root betwixt us twain.
And though I find in you no manner of cause whereby I might
doubt to commit this or greater matter unto you, yet have
I stayed hitherto so to do in doubt least you might thereby
justly condemn me both of arrogancy and lack of discretion,
wherewith I must yet foolishly affirm that I have with great
pain bridled my tongue from disclosing the same unto you.
Such is then the good will that I bear towards you, the which
if you rather judge to be impudency than a friendly meaning,
I may then curse the hour that I first concluded thus to deal
with you." Herewithal being now red for chaste bashfulness,
she abased her eyes and stayed her talk.
To whom F. J. thus answered: "Mistress
Frances, if I should with so exceeding villainy requite such
and so exceeding courtesy, I might not only seem to degenerate
from all gentry but also to differ in behavior from all the
rest of my life spent: wherefore to be plain with you in few
words, I think myself so much bound unto you for divers respects,
as if ability do not fail me, you shall find me mindful in
requital of the same: and for disclosing your mind to me,
you may if so please you adventure it without adventure, for
by this Sun," quoth he, "I will not deceive such
trust as you shall lay upon me, and furthermore, so far forth
as I may, I will be yours in any respect: wherefore I beseech
you accept me for your faithful friend, and so shall you surely
find me."
"Not so," quoth she, "but
you shall be my Trust, if you vouchsafe the name, and I will
be to you as you shall please to term me."
"My Hope," quoth he, "if
you so be pleased."
And thus agreed they two walked apart from
the other Gentlewoman, and fell into sad talk, wherein Mistress
Frances did very courteously declare unto him, that indeed,
one cause of her sorrow sustained in his behalf was that he
had said so openly over night that he could not love, for
she perceived very well the affection between him and Madame
Eleanor, and she was also advertised that Dame Eleanor stood
in the portal of her chamber hearkening to the talk that they
had at supper that night, wherefore she seemed to be sorry
that such a word (rashly escaped) might become great hindrance
unto his desire: but a greater cause of her grief was (as
she declared) that his hap was to bestow his liking so unworthily,
for she seemed to accuse Dame Eleanor for the most unconstant
woman living. In full proof whereof, she bewrayed unto F.
J. how she the same Dame Eleanor, had of long time been yielded
to the Minion Secretary whom I have before described.
"In whom though there be," quoth
she, "no one point of worthiness, yet shameth she not
to use him as her dearest friend, or rather her holiest Idol,"
and that this not withstanding, Dame Eleanor had been also
sundry times won to choice of change, as she named unto F.
J. two Gentlemen, whereof the one was named H. D. and that
other H. K., by whom she was during sundry times of their
several abode in those parts entreated to like courtesy, for
these causes the Dame Frances seemed to mislike F. J.'s choice,
and to lament that she doubted in process of time to see him
abused.
The experiment she meant was this: for that
she thought F. J. (I use her words) a man in every respect
very worthy to have the several use of a more commodious common,
she hoped now to see if his enclosure thereof might be defensible
against her said Secretary, and such like. These things and
divers other of great importance this courteous Lady Frances
did friendly disclose unto F. J., and furthermore did both
instruct and advise him how to proceed in his enterprise.
Now to make my talk good, and lest the Reader
might be drawn in a jealous suppose of this Lady Frances,
I must let you understand that she was unto F. J. a kinswoman,
a virgin of rare chastity, singular capacity, notable modesty,
and excellent beauty: and though F. J. had cast his affection
on the other (being a married woman), yet was there in their
beauties no great difference: but in all other good gifts
a wonderful diversity, as much as might be between constancy
& flitting fantasy, between womanly countenance &
girlish garishness, between hot dissimulation & temperate
fidelity. Now, if any man will curiously ask the
question why F. J. should choose the one and leave the other,
over and besides the common proverb So many men so many minds,
thus may be answered: We see by common experience that the
highest flying falcon doth more commonly prey upon the corn
fed crow & the simple shiftless dove than on the mounting
kite. And why? Because the one is overcome with less difficulty
then that other. Thus much in defense of this Lady Frances
& to excuse the choice of my friend F. J., who thought
himself now no less beholding to good fortune to have found
such a trusty friend then bounden to Dame Venus to have won
such a Mistress.
And to return unto my pretence, understand
you that F. J. (being now with these two fair Ladies come
very near the castle) grew in some jealous doubt (as on his
own behalf) whether he were best to break company or not.
When his assured Hope, perceiving the same, gan thus recomfort
him: "Good sir," quoth she, "if you trusted
your trusty friends, you should not need thus cowardly to
stand in dread of your friendly enemies."
"Well said, in faith," quoth
F. J., "and I must confess, you were in my bosom before
I wist; but yet I have heard said often that in trust is treason."
"Well spoken for yourself," quoth
his Hope.
F. J., now remembering that he had but erewhile
taken upon him the name of her Trust, came home per misericordiam,
when his Hope, entering the Castle gate, caught hold of his
lap and half by force led him by the gallery unto his Mistress
chamber, whereas after a little dissembling disdain, he was
at last by the good help of his Hope right thankfully received.
And for his Mistress was now ready to dine, he was therefore
for that time arrested there & a supersedias sent into
the great chamber unto the Lord of the house, who expected
his coming out of the park.
The dinner ended, & he thoroughly contented
both with welfare & welcome, they fell into sundry devices
of pastime. At last F. J. taking into his hand a Lute that
lay on his Mistress bed, did unto the note of the Venetian
galliard apply the Italian ditty written by the worthy Bradamant
unto the noble Rugier (as Ariosto hath it, Rugier qual semper
fui, &c.). But his Mistress could not be quiet until she
heard him repeat the Tinternell which he used over night,
the which F. J. refused not; at end whereof his Mistress thinking
now she had showed herself too earnest to use any further
dissimulation, especially perceiving the toward inclination
of her servant's Hope, fell to flat plain dealing, and walking
to the window, called her servant apart unto her, of whom
she demanded secretly & in sad earnest, who devised this
Tinternell?
"My Father's sister's brother's son,"
quoth F. J..
His Mistress laughing right heartily, demanded
yet again, by whom the same was figured.
"By a niece to an Aunt of yours, Mistress,"
quoth he.
"Well then, servant," quoth she,
"I swear unto you here by my Father's soul, that my mother's
youngest daughter doth love your father's eldest son above
any creature living."
F. J. hereby recomforted, gan thus reply.
"Mistress, though my father's eldest son be far unworthy
of so noble a match, yet since it pleaseth her so well to
accept him, I would thus much say behind his back, that your
mother's daughter hath done him some wrong."
"& wherein, servant?" quoth
she.
"By my troth, Mistress," quoth
he, "it is not yet 20 hours since without touch of breast
she gave him such a nip by the heart as did altogether bereave
him his night's rest with the bruise thereof."
"Well, servant," quoth she, "content
yourself, and for your sake, I will speak to her to provide
him a plaster, the which I myself will apply to his hurt.
And to the end it may work the better with him, I will purvey
a lodging for him where hereafter he may sleep at more quiet."
This said, the rosy hue destained her sickly cheeks, and she
returned to the company, leaving F. J. ravished between hope
and dread, as one that could neither conjecture the meaning
of her mystical words nor assuredly trust unto the knot of
her sliding affections.
When the Lady Frances coming to him demanded,
"What? dream you sir?"
"Yea, marry, do I, fair Lady,"
quoth he.
"And what was your dream, sir,"
quoth she?
"I dreamt," quoth F. J., "that
walking in a pleasant garden garnished with sundry delights,
my hap was to espy hanging in the air a hope wherein I might
well behold the aspects and face of the heavens, and calling
to remembrance the day and hour of my nativity, I did thereby
(according to my small skill in Astronomy) try the conclusions
of mine adventures."
"And what found you therein,"
quoth dame Frances?
"You awaked me out of my dream,"
quoth he, "or else peradventure you should not have known."
"I believe you well," quoth the
Lady Frances, and laughing at his quick answer brought him
by the hand unto the rest of his company: where he tarried
not long before his gracious Mistress bade him to fare well
and to keep his hour there again when he should by her be
summoned.
Hereby F. J. passed the rest of that day
in hope awaiting the happy time when his Mistress should send
for him. Supper time came and passed over, and not long after
came the handmaid of the Lady Eleanor into the great chamber,
desiring F. J. to repair unto their Mistress, the which he
willingly accomplished: and being now entered into her chamber,
he might perceive his Mistress in her nights attire preparing
herself towards bed, to whom F. J. said: "Why how now,
Mistress? I had thought this night to have seen you dance
(at least or at last) amongst us?"
"By my troth, good servant," quoth
she, "I adventured so soon unto the great chamber yesternight
that I find myself somewhat sickly disposed, and therefore
do strain courtesy, as you see, to go the sooner to my bed
this night. But before I sleep," quoth she, "I am
to charge you with a matter of weight," and taking him
apart from the rest, declared that (as that present night)
she would talk with him more at large in the gallery near
adjoining to her chamber.
Here upon F. J., discretely dissimuling
his joy, took his leave and returned into the great chamber,
where he had not long continued before the Lord of the Castle
commanded a torch to light him unto his lodging, whereas he
prepared himself and went to bed, commanding his servant also
to go to his rest. And when he thought as well his servant
as the rest of the household to be safe, he arose again, &
taking his nightgown, did under the same convey his naked
sword, and so walked to the gallery, where he found his good
Mistress walking in her nightgown and attending his coming.
The Moon was now at the full, the skies
clear, and the weather temperate, by reason whereof he might
the more plainly and with the greater contentation behold
his long desired joys, and spreading his arms abroad to embrace
his loving Mistress, he said: "Oh, my dear Lady, when
shall I be able with any desert to countervail the least part
of this your bountiful goodness?"
The dame (whether it were of fear indeed,
or that the wiliness of womanhood had taught her to cover
her conceits with some fine dissimulation) stert back from
the Knight, and shrieking (but softly), said unto him, "Alas,
servant, what have I deserved, that you come against me with
naked sword as against an open enemy?"
F. J. perceiving her intent, excused himself,
declaring that he brought the same for their defense &
not to offend her in any wise. The Lady being therewith somewhat
appeased, they began with more comfortable gesture to expel
the dread of the said late affright, and sithens to become
bolder of behavior, more familiar in speech, & most kind
in accomplishing of common comfort.
But why hold I so long discourse in describing
the joys which (for lack of like experience) I cannot set
out to the full? Were it not that I know to whom I write,
I would the more beware what I write. F. J. was a man, and
neither of us are senseless, and therefore I should slander
him (over and besides a greater obloquy to the whole genealogy
of Enaeas) if I should imagine that of tender heart he would
forbear to express her more tender limbs against the hard
floor. Sufficed that of her courteous nature she was content
to accept boards for a bead of down, mats for Cambric sheets,
and the nightgown of F. J. for a counterpoint to cover them,
and thus with calm content in stead of quiet sleep, they beguiled
the night, until the proudest star began to abandon the firmament,
when F. J. and his Mistress, were constrained also to abandon
their delights, and with ten thousand sweet kisses and straight
embracings did frame themselves to play loath to depart.
Well, remedy was there none, but dame Eleanor
must return unto her chamber, and F. J. must also convey himself
(as closely as might be) into his chamber, the which was hard
to do, the day being so far sprung and he having a large base
court to pass over before he could recover his stair foot
door. And though he were not much perceived, yet the Lady
Frances, being no less desirous to see an issue of these enterprises
then F. J. was willing to cover them in secrecy, did watch,
& even at the entering of his chamber door, perceived
the point of his naked sword glist'ring under the skirt of
his night gown: whereat she smiled & said to her self,
this gear goeth well about.
Well, F. J. having now recovered his chamber,
he went to bed, & there let him sleep, as his Mistress
did on that other side. Although the Lady Frances being thoroughly
tickled now in all the veins, could not enjoy such quiet rest,
but arising, took another gentlewoman of the house with her
and walked into the park to take the fresh air of the morning.
They had not long walked there, but they returned, and though
F. J. had not yet slept sufficiently for one which had so
far travailed in the night past, yet they went into his chamber
to raise him, and coming to his beds side, found him fast
on sleep. "Alas," quoth that other gentlewoman,
"it were pity to awake him."
"Even so it were," quoth dame
Frances, "but we will take away somewhat of his, whereby
he may perceive that we were here," and looking about
the chamber, his naked sword presented itself to the hands
of dame Frances, who took it with her, and softly shutting
his chamber door again, went down the stairs and recovered
her own lodging in good order and unperceived of any body,
saving only that other gentlewoman which accompanied her.
At the last, F. J. awaked, and appareling
himself, walked out also to take the air, and being thoroughly
recomforted as well with remembrance of his joys forepassed,
as also with the pleasant harmony which the Birds made on
every side and the fragrant smell of the redolent flowers
and blossoms which budded on every branch, he did in these
delights compile these verses following. The occasion (as
I have heard him rehearse) was by encounter that he had with
his Lady by light of the moon: and forasmuch as the moon in
midst of their delights did vanish away, or was overspread
with a cloud, thereupon he took the subject of his theme.
And thus it ensueth, called "A Moonshine Banquet.
Dame Cynthia herself (that shines so
bright
And deigneth not to leave her lofty place
But only then when Phoebus shows his face,
Which is her brother born and lends her light)
Disdain'd not yet to do my Lady right,
To prove that in such heavenly wights as she,
It sitteth best that right and reason be.
For when she spied my Ladies golden rays,
Into the clouds
Her head she shrouds
And shamed to shine where she her beams displays.
Good reason yet that to my simple skill,
I should the name of Cynthia adore,
By whose high help I might behold the more
My Lady's lovely looks at mine own will,
With deep content to gaze, and gaze my fill:
Of courtesy and not of dark disdain,
Dame Cynthia disclos'd my Lady plain.
She did but lend her light (as for a light)
With friendly grace
To show her face
That else would show and shine in her despite.
Dan Phoebus he with many a low'ring look,
Had her beheld of yore in angry wise:
And when he could none other mean devise
To stain her name, this deep deceit he took
To be the bait that best might hide his hook:
Into her eyes his parching beams he cast,
To scorch their skins that gaz'd on her full fast:
Whereby when many a man was sunburnt so,
They thought my Queen
The sun had been,
With scalding flames which wrought them all that woe.
And thus when many a look had lookt so
long,
As that their eyes were dim and dazzled both,
Some fainting hearts that were both lewd and loath
To look again from whence the error sprong,
Gan close their eye for fear of further wrong:
And some again once drawn into the maze,
Gan lewdly blame the beams of beauties blaze:
But I with deep foresight did soon espy
How Phoebus meant
By false intent
To slander so her name with cruelty.
Wherefore at better leisure thought I
best
To try the treason of his treachery:
And to exalt my Ladies dignity
When Phoebus fled and drew him down to rest
Amid the waves that walter in the west.
I gan behold this lovely Ladies face
Whereon dame nature spent her gifts of grace,
And found therein no parching heat at all,
But such bright hue
As might renew
An Angel's joys in reign celestial.
The courteous Moon that wisht to do me
good
Did shine to show my dame more perfectly,
But when she saw her passing jollity,
The Moon for shame did blush as red as blood
And shrunk aside and kept her horns in hood:
So that now when Dame Cynthia was gone,
I might enjoy my Ladies looks alone,
Yet honored still the Moon with true intent:
Who taught us skill
To work our will
And gave us place till all the night was spent.
F. J.
This Ballad, or howsoever
I shall term it, percase you will not like, and yet in my
judgment it hath great good store of deep invention, and for
the order of the verse, it is not common, I have not heard
many of like proportion. Some will account it but a dyddeldeme:
but who so had heard F. J. sing it to the lute by a note of
his own devise, I suppose he would esteem it to be a pleasant
diddeldome, and for my part, if I were not partial, I would
say more in commendation of it than now I mean to do, leaving
it to your and like judgments.
And now to return to my tale, by that time
that F. J. returned out of the park, it was dinner time, and
at dinner they all met, I mean both dame Eleanor, dame Frances,
and F. J.. I leave to describe that the Lady Frances was gorgeously
attired and set forth with very brave apparel, and Madame
Eleanor only in her night gown girt to her, with a coif trimmed
Alla Piedmonteze, on the which she wore a little cap crossed
over the crown with two bends of yellow Sarcenet or Cypress,
in the midst whereof she had placed, of her own handwriting,
in paper this word, Contented. This attire pleased her then
to use, and could not have displeased Mistress Frances, had
she not been more privy to the cause than to the thing itself:
at least the Lord of the Castle (of ignorance) and dame Frances
(of great temperance) let it pass without offence. At dinner,
because the one was pleased with all former reckonings, and
the other made privy to the account, there passed no word
of taunt or grudge, but omnia bene. After dinner, dame Eleanor
being no less desirous to have F. J. company than dame Frances
was to take him in some pretty trip, they began to question
how they might best pass the day: the Lady Eleanor seemed
desirous to keep her chamber, but Mistress Frances for another
purpose seemed desirous to ride abroad thereby to take the
open air. They agreed to ride a mile or twain for solace,
and requested F. J. to accompany them, the which willingly
granted.
Each one parted from other to prepare themselves,
and now began the sport, for when F. J. was booted, his horses
saddled, and he ready to ride, he gan miss his Rapier. Whereat
all astonied he began to blame his man, but blame whom he
would, found it could not be. At last, the Ladies going towards
horseback called for him in the base Court and demanded if
he were ready. To whom F. J. answered, "Madames, I am
more than ready and yet not so ready as I would be,"
and immediately taking himself in trip, he thought best to
utter no more of his conceit, but in haste more than good
speed mounted his horse, & coming toward the dames presented
himself, turning, bounding, & taking up his courser to
the uttermost of his power in bravery. After suffering his
horse to breathe himself, he gan also allay his own choler,
& to the dames he said, "Fair Ladies, I am ready
when it pleaseth you to ride where so you command."
"How ready soever you be, servant,"
quoth dame Eleanor, "it seemeth your horse is readier
at your command then at ours."
"If he be at my command, Mistress,"
quoth he, "he shall be at yours."
"Gramercy, good servant," quoth
she, "but my meaning is that I fear he be too stirring
for our company."
"If he prove so, Mistress," quoth
F. J., "I have here a soberer palfrey to serve you on."
The Dames being mounted, they rode forthwards
by the space of a mile or very near, and F. J. (whether it
were of his horse's courage or his own choler) came not so
near them as they wished. At last the Lady Frances said unto
him, "Master J., you said that you had a soberer horse,
which if it be so, we would be glad of your company. But I
believe by your countenance, your horse & you are agreed."
F. J., alighting, called his servant, changed
horses with him, and overtaking the Dames, said to Mistress
Frances: "And why do you think, fair Lady, that my horse
and I are agreed?"
"Because by your countenance,"
quoth she, "it seemeth your patience is stirred."
"In good faith," quoth F. J.,
"you have guessed a right, but not with any of you."
"Then we care the less, servant,"
quoth Dame Eleanor.
"By my troth, Mistress," quoth
F. J. (looking well about him that none might hear but they
two), "it is with my servant, who hath lost my sword
out of my chamber."
Dame Eleanor, little remembering the occasion,
replied, "It is no matter, servant," quoth she,
"you shall hear of it again, I warrant you, and presently
we ride in God's peace and I trust shall have no need of it."
"Yet Mistress," quoth he, "a
weapon serveth both uses, as well to defend as to offend."
"Now by my troth," quoth Dame
Frances, "I have now my dream, for I dreamt this night
that I was in a pleasant meadow alone, where I met with a
tall Gentleman apparelled in a nightgown of silk all embroidered
about with a guard of naked swords, and when he came towards
me I seemed to be afraid of him, but he recomforted me saying,
'Be not afraid fair Lady, for I use this garment only for
mine own defense: and in this sort went that warlike God Mars
what time he taught dame Venus to make Vulcan a hammer of
the new fashion.' Notwithstanding these comfortable words,
the fright of the dream awaked me, and sithens unto this hour
I have not slept at all."
"And what time of the night dreamt
you this?" quoth F. J.
"In the grey morning, about dawning
of the day. But why ask you?" quoth dame Frances.
F. J. with a great sigh answered, "Because
that dreams are to be marked more at some hour of the night
then at some other."
"Why are you so cunning at the interpretation
of dreams, servant?" quoth the Lady Eleanor.
"Not very cunning, Mistress,"
quoth F. J., "but guess, like a young scholar."
The dames continued in these and like pleasant
talks: but F. J. could not be merry, as one that esteemed
the preservation of his Mistress' honor no less then the obtaining
of his own delights: and yet to avoid further suspicion, he
repressed his passions as much as he could. The Lady Eleanor,
more careless then considerative of her own case, pricking
forwards said softly to F. J., "I had thought you had
received small cause, servant, to be thus dumpish when I would
be merry."
"Alas, dear Mistress," quoth F.
J., "it is altogether for your sake that I am pensive."
Dame Frances with courtesy withdrew herself
and gave them leave. When as F. J. declared unto his Mistress
that his sword was taken out of his chamber, and that he dreaded
much by the words of the Lady Frances that she had some understanding
of the matter. Dame Eleanor now calling to remembrance what
had passed the same night, at the first was abashed, but immediately
(for these women be readily witted) cheered her servant and
willed him to commit unto her the salving of that sore.
Thus they passed the rest of the way in
pleasant talk with dame Frances, and so returned towards the
Castle where F. J. suffered the two dames to go together,
and he alone unto his chamber to bewail his own misgovernment.
But dame Eleanor (whether it were according to old custom
or by wily policy) found mean that night that the sword was
conveyed out of Mistress Frances' chamber and brought unto
hers, and after redelivery of it unto F. J., she warned him
to be more wary from that time forthwards.
Well, I dwell too long upon these particular
points in discoursing this trifling history, but that the
same is the more apt mean of introduction to the verses which
I mean to rehearse unto you, and I think you will not disdain
to read my conceit with his invention about declaration of
his comedy. The next that ever F. J. wrote then upon any adventure
happened between him and this fair Lady, was this, as I have
heard him say, and upon this occasion. After he grew more
bold & better acquainted with his Mistress' disposition,
he adventured one Friday in the morning to go unto her chamber,
and thereupon wrote as followeth, which he termed "A
Friday's Breakfast."
That selfsame day, and of that day that
hour,
When she doth reign that mockt Vulcan the Smith
And thought it meet to harbor in her bower,
Some gallant guest for her to dally with.
That blessed hour, that blist and happy day,
I thought it meet with hasty steppes to go:
Unto the lodge wherein my Lady lay,
To laugh for joy, or else to weep for woe.
And lo, my Lady of her wonted grace,
First lent her lips to me (as for a kiss)
And after that her body to embrace,
Wherein dame nature wrought nothing amiss.
What followed next, guess you that know the trade,
For in this sort, my Fridays feast I made.
F. J.
This Sonnet is short and sweet, reasonably
well, according to the occasion &c. Many days passed these
two lovers with great delight, their affairs being no less
politicly governed than happily achieved. And surely I have
heard F. J. affirm in sad earnest that he did not only love
her, but was furthermore so ravished in Ecstasies with continual
remembrance of his delights that he made an Idol of her in
his inward conceit. So seemeth it by this challenge to beauty,
which he wrote in her praise and upon her name.
Beauty, shut up thy shop and truss up
all thy trash,
My Nell hath stolen thy finest stuff & left thee in
the lash:
Thy market now is marred, thy gains are gone, god wot,
Thou hast no ware that may compare with this that I have
got.
As for thy painted pale, and wrinkles surfled up,
Are dear enough for such as lust to drink of ev'ry cup.
Thy bodies bolst'red out with bombast and with bags,
Thy rolls, thy Ruffs, thy cauls, thy coifs, thy Jerkins
& thy jags,
Thy curling and thy cost, thy friesling & thy fare,
To Court, to court with all those toys & there set forth
such ware
Before their hungry eyes that gaze on every gest,
And choose the cheapest chaffer still to please their fancy
best.
But I whose stedfast eyes could never cast a glance
With wand'ring look amid the press to take my choice, by
chance
Have won by due desert a piece that hath no peer
And left the rest as refuse all to serve the market there.
There let him choose that list, there catch the best who
can:
A painted blazing bait may serve to choke a gazing man,
But I have slipt thy flower that freshest is of hue,
I have thy corn, go sell thy chaff, I list to seek no new.
The windows of mine eyes are glaz'd with such delight
As each new face seems full of faults that blazeth in my
sight.
And not without just cause I can compare her so;
Lo, here, my glove, I challenge him that can or dare say
no.
Let Theseus come with club, or Paris brag with brand,
To prove how fair their Helen was that scourg'd the Grecian
land,
Let mighty Mars himself, come armed to the field
And vaunt dame Venus to defend with helmet, spear &
shield:
This hand that had good hap my Helen to embrace
Shall have like luck to foil her foes & daunt them with
disgrace,
And cause them to confess by verdict and by oath
How far her lovely looks do stain the beauties of them both,
And that my Helen is more fair then Paris' wife,
And doth deserve more famous praise then Venus for her life.
Which if I not perform, my life then let me leese,
Or else be bound in chains of change to beg for beauties
fees.
F. J.
By this challenge, I guess that either he
was then in an ecstasy or else sure I am now in a lunacy,
for it is a proud challenge made to Beauty herself and all
her companions, and imagining that Beauty having a shop where
she uttered her wares of all sundry sorts, his Lady had stolen
the finest away, leaving none behind her but painting, bolstering,
forcing, and such like, the which in his rage he judgeth good
enough to serve the Court. And thereupon grew a great quarrel
when these verses were by the negligence of his Mistress dispersed
into sundry hands, and so at last to the reading of a Courtier.
Well, F. J. had his desire if his Mistress liked them, but
as I have heard him declare, she grew in jealousy that the
same were not written by her, because her name was Eleanor
and not Helen. And about this point have been divers and sundry
opinions, for this and divers other of his most notable Poems
have come to view of the world, although altogether without
his consent. And some have attributed this praise unto a Helen,
who deserved not so well as this dame Eleanor should seem
to deserve by the relation of F. J., and yet never a barrel
of good herring between them both. But that other Helen, because
she was and is of so base condition as may deserve no manner
commendation in any honest judgment, therefore I will excuse
my friend F. J. and adventure my pen in his behalf, that he
would never bestow verse of so mean a subject. And yet some
of his acquaintance, being also acquainted (better than I)
that F. J. was sometimes acquainted with Helen, have stood
in argument with me, that it was written by Helen and not
by Eleanor. Well, F. J. told me himself that it was written
by this dame Eleanor, and that unto her he thus alleged, that
he took it all for one name, or at least he never read of
any Eleanor such matter as might sound worthy like commendation
for beauty. And indeed, considering that it was in the first
beginning of his writings, as then he was no writer of any
long continuance, comparing also the time that such reports
do spread of his acquaintance with Helen, it cannot be written
less then six or seven years before he knew Helen. Marry,
peradventure if there were any acquaintance between F. J.
and that Helen afterwards (the which I dare not confess),
he might adapt it to her name and so make it serve both their
turns, as elder lovers have done before and still do and will
do world without end. Amen.
Well, by whom he wrote it, I know not, but
once I am sure that he wrote it, for he is no borrower of
inventions, and this is all that I mean to prove, as one that
send you his verses by stealth and do him double wrong to
disclose unto any man the secret causes why they were devised,
but this for your delight I do adventure, and to return to
the purpose, he sought more certainly to please his Mistress
Eleanor with this Sonnet written in her praise as followeth.
The stately Dames of Rome their Pearls
did wear
About their necks to beautify their name,
But she (whom I do serve) her pearls doth bear
Close in her mouth, and smiling shows the same.
No wonder then, though ev'ry word she speaks
A Jewel seems in judgment of the wise,
Since that her sug'red tongue the passage breaks
Between two rocks bedeckt with pearls of price.
Her hair of gold, her front of Ivory,
A bloody heart within so white a breast,
Her teeth of Pearl, lips Ruby, crystal eye,
Needs must I honor her above the rest,
Since she is formed of none other mold
But Ruby, Crystal, Ivory, Pearl, and Gold.
F. J.
Of this Sonnet, I am assured that it is
but a translation, for I myself have seen the invention of
an Italian, and Master J. hath a little dilated the same,
but not much besides the sense of the first, and the addition
very aptly applied: wherefore I cannot condemn his doing therein.
And for the Sonnet, were it not a little too much praise (as
the Italians do most commonly offend in the superlative),
I could the more commend it: but I hope the party to whom
it was dedicated had rather it were much more than any thing
less.
Well, thus these two Lovers passed many
days in exceeding contentation & more than speakable pleasures,
in which time F. J. did compile very many verses according
to sundry occasions proffered, whereof I have not obtained
the most at his hands. And the reason that he denied me the
same was that (as he alleged) they were for the most part
sauced with a taste of glory, as you know that in such cases,
a lover being charged with inexprimable joys, and therewith
enjoined both by duty and discretion to keep the same covert,
can by no means devise a greater consolation than to commit
it into some ciphered words and figured speeches in verse,
whereby he feeleth his heart half (or more than half) eased
of swelling. For as sighs are some present ease to the pensive
mind, even so we find by experience that such secret entercomoning
of joys doth increase delight. I would not have you conster
my words to this effect, that I think a man cannot sufficiently
rejoice in the lucky lots of love unless he impart the same
to others. God forbid that ever I should enter into such an
heresy, for I have always been of this opinion, that as to
be fortunate in love is one of the most inward contentatious
to man's mind of all earthly joys: even so, if he do but once
bewray the same to any living creature, immediately either
dread of discovering doth bruise his breast with an intolerable
burden, or else he leeseth the principal virtue which gave
effect to his gladness, not unlike to a 'pothecaries pot which,
being filled with sweet ointments or perfumes, doth retain
in itself some scent of the same, and being poured out doth
return to the former state, hard, harsh, and of small savour.
So the mind being fraught with delights, as long as it can
keep them secretly enclosed, may continually feed upon the
pleasant record thereof, as the well willing and ready horse
biteth on the bridle, but having once disclosed them to any
other, straightway we lose the hidden treasure of the same
and are oppressed with sundry doubtful opinions and dreadful
conceits. And yet for a man to record unto himself in the
inward contemplation of his mind the often remembrance of
his late received joys doth, as it were, ease the heart of
burden and add unto the mind a fresh supply of delight, yea,
and in verse principally (as I conceive), a man may best contrive
this way of comfort in himself.
Therefore, as I have said, F. J. swimming
now in delights did nothing but write such verse as might
accumulate his joys to the extremity of pleasure, the which
for that purpose he kept from me, as one more desirous to
seem obscure and defective than overmuch to glory in his adventures,
especially for that in the end his hap was as heavy as hitherto
he had been fortunate.
Amongst other, I remembered one happened
upon this occasion: The husband of the Lady Eleanor, being
all this while absent from her, gan now return, & kept
Cut at home, with whom F. J. found means so to insinuate himself
that familiarity took deep root between them and seldom but
by stealth you could find the one out of the other's company.
On a time, the knight riding on hunting, desired F. J. to
accompany him, the which he could not refuse to do, but like
a lusty younker, ready at all assays, apparelled himself in
green, and about his neck a Bugle, pricking & galloping
amongst the foremost according to the manner of that country.
And it chanced that the married Knight thus galloping lost
his horn, which some divines might have interpreted to be
but molting, & that by Gods grace, he might have a new
come up again shortly in stead of that.
Well, he came to F. J., requiring him to
lend him his Bugle, for (said the Knight) "I heard you
not blow this day, and I would fain encourage the hounds,
if I had a horn."
Quoth F. J., "Although I have not been
over lavish of my coming hitherto, I would you should not
doubt but that I can tell how to use a horn well enough, and
yet I may little do if I may not lend you a horn," and
therewithal took his Bugle from his neck and lent it to the
Knight, who making in unto the hounds, gan assay to rechat:
but the horn was too hard for him to wind, whereat F. J. took
pleasure and said to himself, "Blow till thou break that:
I made thee one within these few days that thou wilt never
crack whiles thou livest." And hereupon (before the fall
of the Buck) devised this Sonnet following, which at his homecoming
he presented unto his Mistress.
As some men say there is a kind of seed
Will grow to horns if it be sowed thick,
Wherewith I thought to try if I could breed
A brood of buds well sharped on the prick:
And by good proof of learned skill I found,
As on some special soil all seeds best frame,
So jealous brains do breed the battleground,
That best of all might serve to bear the same.
Then sought I forth to find such supple soil,
And call'd to mind thy husband had a brain,
So that percase by travail and by toil
His fruitful front might turn my seed to gain:
And as I groped in that ground to sow it,
Start up a horn, thy husband could not blow it.
F. J.
This Sonnet treateth of a strange seed,
but it tasteth most of Rye, which is more common amongst men
nowadays. Well, let it pass amongst the rest, & he that
liketh it not, turn over the leaf to another; I doubt not
but in this register he may find some to content him, unless
he be too curious. And here I will surcease to rehearse any
more of his verses until I have expressed how that his joys,
being now exalted to the highest degree, began to bend towards
declination.
For now the unhappy Secretary, whom I have
before remembered, was returned from London, on who F. J.
had no sooner cast his eyes but immediately he fell into a
great passion of mind which might be compared unto a fever.
This fruit grew of the good instructions that his Hope had
planted in his mind, whereby I might take just occasion to
forewarn every lover how they suffer this venomous serpent
jealousy to creep into their conceits: for surely, of all
other diseases in love, I suppose that to be uncurable, and
would hold longer discourse therein, were it not that both
this tale and the verses of F. J. himself hereafter to be
recited shall be sufficient to speak for me in this behalf.
The lover (as I say, upon the sudden) was
droven into such a malady as no meat might nourish his body,
no delights please his mind, no remembrance of joys forepassed
content him, nor any hope of the like to come might recomfort
him: hereat, some unto whom I have imparted this tale have
take occasion to discommend his fainting heart. Yet surely,
the cause inwardly & deeply considered, I cannot so lightly
condemn him, for an old saying is that every man can give
counsel better than follow it: and needs must the conflicts
of his thoughts be strange, between the remembrance of his
forepassed pleasure and the present sight of this monster
whom before (for lack of like instruction) he had not so thoroughly
marked and beheld. Well, such was the grief unto him that
he became sickly and kept his chamber.
The Ladies having received the news thereof,
gan all at once lament his misfortune, and of common consent
agreed to visit him. They marched thither in good equipage,
I warrant you, and found F. J. lying upon his bed languishing,
who they all saluted generally, and sought to recomfort, but
especially his Mistress, having in her hand a branch of willow
wherewith she defended her from the hot air, gan thus say
unto him: "Servant," quoth she, "for that I
suppose your malady to proceed of none other cause but only
slothfulness, I have brought this pretty rod to beat you a
little; nothing doubting but when you feel the smart of a
twig or twain, you will like a tractable young scholar pluck
up your quickened spirits & cast this drowsiness apart."
F. J. with a great sigh answered: "Alas,
good Mistress," quoth he, "if any like chastisement
might quicken me, how much more might the presence of all
you lovely Dames recomfort my dulled mind? whom to behold
were sufficient to revive an eye now dazzled with the dread
of death, and that not only for the heavenly aspects which
you represent, but also much the more for your exceeding courtesy
in that you have deigned to visit me so unworthy a servant.
But good Mistress," quoth he, "as it were shame
for me to confess that ever my heart could yield for fear,
so I assure you that my mind cannot be content to induce infirmity
by sluggish conceit. But in truth, Mistress, I am sick,"
quoth he, and therewithal the trembling of his heart had sent
up such throbbing into his throat as that his voice (now deprived
of breath) commanded the tongue to be still.
When Dame Eleanor, for compassion, distilled
into tears and drew towards the window, leaving the other
Gentlewomen about his bed, who being no less sorry for his
grief, yet for that they were none of them so touched in their
secret thoughts, they had bolder sprits and freer speech to
recomfort him.
Amongst the rest, the Lady Frances (who
indeed loved him deeply and could best conjecture the cause
of his conceits) said unto him: "Good Trust," quoth
she, "if any help of Physic may cure your malady, I would
not have you hurt yourself with these doubts which you seem
to retain. If choice of Diet may help, behold us here (your
cooks) ready to minister all things needful. If company may
drive away your annoy, we mean not to leave you solitary.
If grief of mind be cause of your infirmity, we all here will
offer our devoir to turn it into joy. If mishap have given
you cause to fear or dread any thing, remember Hope, which
never faileth to recomfort an afflicted mind. And good Trust,"
quoth she, distraining his hand right heartily, "let
this simple proof of our poor good wills be so accepted of
you as that it may work thereby the effect of our desires."
F. J. (as one in a trance) had marked very
little of her courteous talk, and yet gave her thanks, and
so held his peace. Whereat the Ladies being all amazed, there
became a silence in the chamber on all sides. Dame Eleanor,
fearing thereby that she might the more easily be espied,
and having now dried up her tears, returned to F. J., recomforting
him by all possible means of common courtesy, promising that
since in her sickness he had not only stanched her bleeding,
but also by his gentle company and sundry devices of honest
pastime had driven away the pensiveness of her mind, she thought
herself bound with like willingness to do her best in any
thing that might restore his health; and taking him by the
hand, said further: "Good servant, if thou bear indeed
any true affection to thy poor Mistress, start upon thy feet
again and let her enjoy thine accustomed service to her comfort;
for sure," quoth she, "I will never leave to visit
this chamber once in a day until I may have thee down with
me."
F. J., hearing the hearty words of his Mistress
and perceiving the earnest manner of her pronunciation, began
to receive unspeakable comfort in the same, and said, "Mistress,
your exceeding courtesy were able to revive a man half dead,
and to me it is both great comfort and it doth also gald my
remembrance with a continual smart of mine own unworthiness:
but as I would desire no longer life than till I might be
able to deserve some part of your bounty, so I will endeavor
myself to live, were it but only unto that end that I might
merit some part of your favor with acceptable service, and
requite some deal the courtesy of all these other fair Ladies,
who have so far above my deserts deigned to do me good."
Thus said, the Ladies tarried not long before
they were called to Evensong, when his Mistress taking his
hand, kissed it saying: "Farewell, good servant, and
I pray thee suffer not the malice of thy sickness to overcome
the gentleness of thy good heart."
F. J., ravished with joy, suffered them
all to depart and was not able to pronounce one word. After
their departure, he gan cast in his mind the exceeding courtesy
used towards him by them all: but above all other the bounty
of his Mistress, and therewithal took a sound and firm opinion
that it was not possible for her to counterfeit so deeply
(as indeed I believe that she then did not). Whereby he suddenly
felt his heart greatly eased, and began in himself thus to
reason: "Was ever man of so wretched a heart? I am the
most bounden to love," quoth he, "of all them that
ever professed his service, I enjoy one the fairest that ever
was found, and I find her the kindest that ever was heard
of: yet in mine own wicked heart I could villainously conceive
that of her, which being compared with the rest of her virtues
is not possible to harbor in so noble a mind. Hereby I have
brought my self without cause into this feebleness, and good
reason that for so high an offence I should be punished with
great infirmity. What shall I then do? yield to the same?
No, but according to my late protestation I will recomfort
this languishing mind of mine, to the end I may live but only
to do penance for this so notable a crime so rashly committed."
And thus saying, he start from his bed,
and gan to walk towards the window: but the venomous serpent
which (as before I rehearsed) had stung him could not be content
that these medicines applied by the mouth of his gentle Mistress
should so soon restore him to guerison. And although in deed
they were such Mithridate to F. J. as that they had now expelled
the rancor of the poison, yet that ugly hellish monster had
left behind her in the most secret of his bosom (even between
the mind and the man) one of her familiars named Suspect,
which gan work in the weak spirits of F. J. effects of no
less peril than before he had conceived: his head swelling
with these troublesome toys and his heart swimming in the
tempests of tossing fantasy: he felt his legs so feeble, that
he was constrained to lie down on his bed again, and repeating
in his own remembrance every word that his Mistress had spoken
unto him, he gan to dread that she had brought the willow
branch to beat him with in token that he was of her forsaken:
for so lovers do most commonly expound the willow garland.
And this to think, did cut his heart in twain.
A wonderful change: and here a little to
stay you, I will describe (for I think you have not read it
in Ariosto) the beginning, the fall, the return, and the being
of this hellish bird, who indeed may well be counted a very
limb of the Devil.
Many years since, one of the most dreadful dastards in the
world, and one of them that first devised to wear his beard
at length -- lest the barber might do him a good turn sooner
than he looked for it, and yet not so soon as he deserved
-- had builded for his security a pile on the highest and
most inaccessible mount of all his Territories. The which,
being fortified with strong walls and environed with deep
ditches, had no place of entry but one only door so straight
and narrow as might by any possibility receive the body of
one living man, from which he ascended up a ladder & so
creeping thorough a marvelous straight hole attained to his
lodging, the which was so dark & obscure as scarcely either
sun or air could enter into it. Thus he devised to lodge in
safety, and for the more surety gan trust none other letting
down this ladder but only his wife, and at the foot thereof
kept always by daylight a fierce mastiff close enkenneled
which never saw nor heard the face or voice of any other creature
but only of them two; him by night he trusted with the scout
of this pretty passage, having nevertheless between him and
this dog a double door with treble locks, quadruple bars:
and before all a portcullis of Iron. Neither yet could he
be so hardy as to sleep until he had caused a guard of servants
(whom he kept abroad for that purpose) to search all the corners
adjoining to his fortress, and then between fearful sweat
and shivering cold, with one eye open and the other closed,
he stole sometimes a broken sleep divided with many terrible
dreams.
In this sort the wretch lived all too long,
until at last his wife, being not able any longer to support
this hellish life, grew so hardy as with his own knife to
dispatch his carcass out of this earthly purgatory. The which
being done his soul (and good reason) was quickly conveyed
by Charon unto hell. There, Radamanthus, judge of that bench,
commanded him quickly to be thrust into a boiling pool. And
being therein plunged very often, he never shrieked or cried,
"I scald," as his other companions there cried,
but seemed so lightly to esteem it that the judge thought
meet to condemn him unto the most terrible place, where are
such torments as neither pen can write, tongue express, or
thought conceive. But the miser even there seemed to smile
and to make small account of his punishment.
Radamanthus, hereof informed, sent for him
and demanded the cause why he made so light of his durance.
He answered that whiles he lived on earth he was so continually
afflicted and oppressed with suspicion as that now only to
think that he was out of those meditations was sufficient
armor to defend him from all other torments.
Radamanthus astonied hereat, gan call together
the Senators of that kingdom, and propounded this question:
how & by what punishment they might devise to touch him
according to his deserts? And hereupon fell great disputation.
At last -- being considered that he had already been plunged
in the most unspeakable torments & thereat little or nothing
had changed countenance, therewithal that no soul was sent
unto them to be relieved of his smart but rather to be punished
for his former delights -- it was concluded by the general
council that he should be eftsoons sent into the world &
restored to the same body wherein he first had his residence,
so to remain for perpetuity and never to depart nor to perish.
Thus this body and soul being once again
united, and now eftsoons with the same pestilence infected,
he became of a suspicious man Suspicion itself. And now the
wretch, remembering the treason of his wife who had so willingly
dispatched him once before, gan utterly abhor her and fled
her company, searching in all countries some place of better
assurance. And when he had in vain trod on the most part of
the earth, he embarked himself to find some unknown Island
wherein he might frame some new habitation, and finding none
so commodious as he desired, he fortuned (sailing along by
the shore) to espy a rock more than six hundred Cubits high,
which hung so suspiciously over the seas as though it would
threaten to fall at every little blast. This did Suspicion
Imagine to be a fit foundation whereon he might build his
second Bower. He forsook his boat and traveled by land to
espy what entry or access might be made unto the same, and
found from land no manner of entry or access unless it were
that some courteous bird of the air would be Ambassador, or
convey some Engines as whilom the Eagle did carry Ganymedes
into heaven. He then returned to Seas, and approaching near
to his rock, found a small stream of fresh water issuing out
of the same into the Seas -- the which, although it were so
little and so straight as might unethes receive a boat of
bigness to carry one living creature at once, yet in his conceit
he thought it more large and spacious than that broad way
called of our forefathers Via appia, or than that other named
Flaminia.
He abandoned his bark and, putting off his
clothes, adventured (for he was now assured not to drown)
to wade and swim against the stream of this unknown brook,
the which (a wondrous thing to tell, and scarcely to be believed)
came down from the very top and height of this rock. And by
the way he found six straight & dangerous places where
the water seemed to stay his course, passing under six straight
and low bridges, and hard by every of those places a pile
raised up in manner of a Bulwark, the which were hollow in
such sort as lodgings and other places necessary might in
them commodiously be devised by such one as could endure the
hellishness of the place. Passing by these, he attained with
much pain unto the top of the Rock, the which he found hollowed
as the rest, and far more fit for his security than otherwise
apt for any commodity. There gan Suspicion determine to nestle
him self, and having now placed six chosen porters, (to wit,
Dread, Mistrust, Wrath, Desperation, Frenzy, and Fury) at
these six strange Bulwarks, he lodged himself in the vii.
all alone, for he trusted no company, but ever mistrusting
that his wife should eftsoons find him out, therein he shrieketh
continually like to a screech owl to keep the watch waking,
never content to sleep by day or by night, but, to be sure
that he should not oversleep himself, gan stuff his couch
with Porcupines quills to the end that when heavy sleep overcame
him and he thereby should be constrained to charge his pallet
with more heavy burden, those plumes might then prick through
and so awake him.
His garments were steel upon Iron, and that
Iron upon Iron, and Iron again, and the more he was armed,
the less he trusted to be out of danger. He chopped and changed
continually now this, now that, new keys, new locks, ditches
new scoured, and walls newly fortified, and thus always uncontented
liveth this wretched hellhound Suspicion in this hellish dungeon
of habitation, from whence he never removeth his foot but
only in the dead & silent nights when he may be assured
that all creatures (but himself) are whelmed in sound sleep.
And then with stealing steps he stalketh about the earth,
infecting, tormenting, and vexing all kinds of people with
some part of his afflictions, but especially such as either
do sit in chair of greatest dignity and estimation, or else
such as have achieved some dear and rare emprise. Those above
all others he continually galdeth with fresh wounds of dread,
lest they might lose and forgo the rooms whereunto with such
long travail and good haps they had attained.
And by this means percase he had crept into
the bosom of F. J. who (as is before declared) did erst swim
in the deepest seas of earthly delights. Now then, I must
think it high time to return unto him, who being now through
feebleness eftsoons cast down upon his bed, gan cast in his
inward meditations all things passed and, as one thoroughly
puffed up and filled with one peevish conceit, could think
upon nothing else, and yet accusing his own guilty conscience
to be infected with jealousy, did compile this translation
of Ariosto's xxxi. song as followeth.
What state to man so sweet and peasant
were,
As to be tied in links of worthy love?
What life so bliss'd and happy might appear
As for to serve Cupid, that God above?
If that our minds were not sometimes infect
With dread, with fear, with care, with cold suspect,
With deep despair, with furious frenzy,
Handmaids to her whom we call jealousy.
For ev'ry other sop of sour chance
Which lovers taste amid their sweet delight
Increaseth joy and doth their love advance,
In pleasures place to have more perfect plight.
The thirsty mouth thinks water hath good taste,
The hungry jaws are pleas'd, with each repast:
Who hath not prov'd what dearth by wars doth grow
Cannot of peace the pleasant plenties know.
And though with eye we see not ev'ry joy,
Yet may the mind full well support the same.
An absent life long led in great annoy
When presence comes doth turn from grief to game.
To serve without reward is thought great pain,
But if despair do not therewith remain,
It may be borne, for right rewards at last
Follow true service though they come not fast.
Disdains, repulses, finally each ill,
Each smart, each pain, of love each bitter taste,
To think on them gan frame the lovers will
To like each joy, the more that comes at last:
But this infernal plague, if once it touch
Or venom once the lovers mind with grouch,
All feasts and joys that afterwards befall,
The lover counts them light or nought at all.
This is that sore, this is that poisoned
wound,
The which to heal nor salve nor ointments serve,
Nor charm of words, nor Image can be found,
Nor observance of stars can it preserve,
Nor all the art of Magic can prevail,
Which Zoroastes found for our avail.
Oh, cruel plague, above all sorrows smart,
With desperate death thou slay'st the lover's heart.
And me, even now, thy gall hath so infect
As all the joys which ever lover found
And all good haps that ever Troilus' sect
Achieved yet above the luckless ground:
Can never sweeten once my mouth with mel,
Nor bring my thoughts again in rest to dwell.
Of thy mad moods and of naught else I think,
In such like seas, fair Bradamant did sink.
F. J.
This is the translation
of Ariosto his xxxi. song, all but the last staff, which seemeth
as an allegory applied to the rest. It will please none but
learned ears, he was tied to the invention, troubled in mind
&c. So I leave it to your judgment, and return to F. J.,
who continued on his bed until his bountiful Mistress with
the company of the other courteous dames returned after supper
to his chamber.
At their first entry:
"Why how now, servant," quoth dame Eleanor, "we
hoped to have found you on foot?"
"Mistress,"
quoth F. J., "I have assayed my feet since your departure,
but I find them yet unable to support my heavy body, and therefore
am constrained as you see to acquaint myself with these pillows."
"Servant," said she, "I am
right sorry thereof, but since it is of necessity to bear
sickness, I will employ my devoir to allay some part of your
pains and to refresh your weary limbs with some comfortable
matter." And therewithal, calling her handmaid, delivered
unto her a bunch of pretty little keys, and whispering in
her ear dispatched her towards her chamber.
The maid tarried not long but returned
with a little Casket, the which her Mistress took, opened,
and drew out of the same much fine linen, amongst the which
she took a pillowbere very fine and sweet, which although
it were of itself as sweet as might be, being of long time
kept in that odoriferous chest, yet did she with damask water
(and that the best that might be, I warrant you) all to sprinkle
it with her own hands, which in my conceit might much amend
the matter. Then, calling for a fresh pillow, sent her maid
to air the same, and at her return put on this thus perfumed
pillowbere.
In mean time also she had with her own hands
attired her servant's head in a fair wrought kerchief taken
out of the same Casket, then laid him down upon this fresh
and pleasant place, and prettily as it were in sport, bedewed
his temples with sweet water which she had ready in a casting
bottle of Gold, kissing his cheek and saying: "Good servant
be whole, for I might not long endure thus to attend thee,
and yet the love that I bear towards thee cannot be content
to see thee languish."
"Mistress," said F. J. (and that
with a trembling voice), "assure yourself that if there
remain in me any spark of life or possibility of recovery,
then may this excellent bounty of yours be sufficient to revive
me without any further travail or pain unto your person, for
whom I am highly to blame in that I do not spare to put you
unto this trouble: and better it were that such a wretch as
I had died unknown than that by your exceeding courtesy you
should fall into any malady, either by resorting unto me or
by these your pains taken about me."
"Servant," quoth she, "all
pleasures seem painful to them that take no delight therein,
and likewise all toil seemeth pleasant to such as set their
felicity in the same, but for me, be you sure, I do it with
so good a will that I can take no hurt thereby unless I shall
perceive that it be rejected or neglected as unprofitable
or uncomfortable unto you."
"To me, Mistress," quoth F. J.,
"it is such pleasure as neither my feeble tongue can
express nor my troubled mind conceive."
"Why? are you troubled in mind then,
servant?" quoth dame Eleanor.
F. J., now blushing, answered, "But
even as all sick men be, Mistress."
Herewith they stayed their talk a while,
and the first that brake silence was the Lady Frances, who
said: "And to drive away the troubles of your mind, good
Trust, I would be glad if we could devise some pastime amongst
us to keep you company, for I remember that with such devices
you did greatly recomfort this fair Lady when she languished
in like sort."
"She languished indeed, gentle Hope,"
quoth F. J., "but God forbid that she had languished
in like sort."
"Every body thinketh their grief greatest,"
quoth dame Eleanor, "but indeed whether my grief were
the more or the less, I am right sorry that yours is such
as it is. And to assay whither our passions proceeded of like
cause or not, I would we could (according to this Lady's saying)
devise some like pastimes to try if your malady would be cured
with like medicines."
A gentlewoman of the company whom I have
not hitherto named, and that for good respects, lest her name
might altogether disclose the rest, gan thus propound. "We
have accustomed," quoth she, "heretofore in most
of our games to choose a King or Queen, and he or she during
their government have charged every of us either with commandments
or questions as best seemed to their majesty: wherein to speak
mine opinion we have given over large a scope, neither seemeth
it reasonable that one should have the power to discover the
thoughts, or at least to bridle the affects, of all the rest.
And though indeed in questioning (which doth of the twain
more nearly touch the mind), everyone is at free liberty to
answer what they list: yet oft have I heard a question demanded
in such sort and upon such sudden that it hath been hardly
answered without moving matter of contention. And in commands
also sometimes it happeneth one to be commanded unto such
service as either they are unfit to accomplish (and then the
party's weakness is thereby detected) or else to do something
that they would not, whereof ensueth more grouch then game.
Wherefore, in mine opinion, we shall do well to choose by
lot amongst us a governor who, for that it shall be sufficient
preeminence to use the chair of majesty, shall be bound to
give sentence upon all such arguments and questions as we
shall orderly propound unto them, and from him or her (as
from an oracle) we will receive answer, and deciding of our
litigious causes."
This dame had stuff in her, an old courtier,
and a wily wench, whom for this discourse I will name Pergo,
lest her name natural were to broad before, and might not
drink of all waters. Well, this proportion of Pergo pleased
them well, and by lot it happened that F. J. must be moderator
of these matters and collector of these causes.
The which being so constituted, the Lady
Eleanor said unto this dame Pergo, "You have devised
this pastime," quoth she, "& because we think
you to be most expert in the handling thereof, do you propound
the first question, & we shall be both the more ready
and able to follow your example."
The Lady Pergo refused not, but began on
this wise. "Noble governor," quoth she, "amongst
the adventures that have befallen me I remember especially
this one, that in youth it was my chance to be beloved of
a very courtlike young gentleman who abode near the place
wherein my parents had their resiance. This gentleman, whether
it were for beauty or for any other respect that he saw in
me, I know not, but he was enamored of me, & that with
an exceeding vehement passion. & of such force were his
affects that, notwithstanding many repulses which he had received
at my hands, he seemed daily to grow in the renewing of his
desires. I on the other side, although I could by no means
mislike of him by any good reason, considering that he was
of birth no way inferior unto me, of possessions not to be
disdained, of person right comely, of behavior Courtly, of
manners modest, of mind liberal, and of virtuous disposition:
yet such was the gaiety of my mind as that I could not be
content to lend him over large thongs of my love, but always
dangerously behaved myself towards him, and in such sort as
he could neither take comfort of mine answers nor yet once
find himself requited with one good look for all his travail.
This notwithstanding, the worthy Knight continued his suit
with no less vehement affection than erst he had begun it,
even by the space of seven years. At the last, whether discomfited
by my dealings, or tired by long travail, or that he had percase
lit upon the lake that is in the forest of Ardennes and so
in haste and all thirsty had drunk some drops of disdain whereby
his hot flames were quenched, or that he had undertaken to
serve no longer but his just term of apprenticehood, or that
the teeth of time had gnawn and tired his dulled spirits in
such sort as that all benumbed he was constrained to use some
other artificial balm for the quickening of his senses, or
by what cause moved I know not, he did not only leave his
long continued suit, but (as I have since perceived) grew
to hate me more deadly than before I had disdained him.
"At the first beginning of his retire,
I perceived not his hatred, but imagined that being overwearied
he had withdrawn himself for a time. And considering his worthiness,
therewithal his constancy of long time proved, I thought that
I could not in the whole world find out a fitter match to
bestow myself than on so worthy a person, wherefore I did
by all possible means procure that he might eftsoons use his
accustomed repair unto my parents. And further, in all places
where I happened to meet him I used all the courtesies towards
him that might be contained within the bonds of modesty. But
all was in vain, for he was now become more dangerous to be
won than the haggard Falcon. Our lots being thus unluckily
changed, I grew to burn in desire, and the more dangerous
that he showed himself unto me, the more earnest I was by
all means to procure his consent of love. At the last, I might
perceive that not only he disdained me but, as me thought,
boiled in hatred against me. And the time that I thus continued
tormented with these thoughts was also just the space of seven
years.
"Finally, when I perceived no remedy
for my perplexities, I assayed by absence to wear away this
malady, and therefore utterly refused to come in his presence,
yea, or almost in any other company. Whereby I have consumed
in lost time the flower of my youth and am become, as you
see, (what with years and what with the tormenting passions
of love) pale, wan, and full of wrinkles. Nevertheless, I
have thereby gained thus much: that at last I have wound myself
clear out of Cupid's chains and remain careless at liberty.
"Now mark to what end I tell you this:
First, vii. years passed in the which I could never be content
to yield unto his just desires. Next, other vii. years I spent
in seeking to recover his lost love. And sithens both those
vii. years, there are even now on Saint Valentines day last
other vii. years passed, in the which neither I have desired
to see him, nor he hath coveted to hear of me. My parents
now perceiving how the crowsfoot is crept under mine eye and
remembering the long suit that this gentleman had in youth
spent on me, considering therewithal that green youth is well
mellowed in us both, have of late sought to persuade a marriage
between us, the which the Knight hath not refused to hear
of, and I have not disdained to think on. By their mediation
we have bin eftsoons brought to Parley, wherein over and besides
the ripping up of many old griefs, this hath been chiefly
rehearsed & objected between us: what wrong and injury
each of us hath done to other. And hereabouts we have fallen
to sharp contention: he alleged that much greater is the wrong
which I have done unto him than that repulse which he hath
sithens used to me: and I have affirmed the contrary. The
matter yet hangeth in variance. Now, of you worthy Governor,
I would be most glad to hear this question decided, remembering
that there was no difference in the times between us: and
surely, unless your judgment help me, I am afraid my marriage
will be marred, and I may go lead Apes in hell."
F. J. answered, "Good Pergo, I am sorry
to hear so lamentable a discourse of your luckless love, and
much the sorrier in that I must needs give sentence against
you. For surely great was the wrong that either of you have
done to other, and greater was the needless grief which causeless
each of you hath conceived in this long time, but greatest
in my judgment hath been both the wrong and the grief of the
Knight, in that notwithstanding his deserts (which yourself
confess) he never enjoyed any guerdon of love at your hands.
And you (as you allege) did enjoy his love of long time together.
So that by the reckoning it will fall out (although being
blinded in your own conceit you see it not) that of the one
& twenty years, you enjoyed his love vii. at the least,
but that ever he enjoyed yours we cannot perceive. And much
greater is the wrong that rewardeth evil for good than that
which requireth tip for tap. Further, it seemeth that where
as you went about in time to try him, you did altogether lose
time which can never be recovered: and not only lost your
own time, whereof you would seem now to lament, but also compelled
him to lose his time, which he might (be it spoken without
offence to you) have bestowed in some other worthy place.
And therefore, as that grief is much greater which hath no
kind of comfort to allay it, so much more is that wrong which
altogether without cause is offered."
"And I," said Pergo, "must
needs think that much easier is it for them to endure grief
which never tasted of joy, and much less is that wrong which
is so willingly proffered to be by recompense restored: for
if this Knight will confess that he never had cause to rejoice
in all the time of his service, then with better contentation
might he abide grief than I who, having tasted of the delight
which I did secretly conceive of his deserts, do think each
grief a present death by the remembrance of those forepassed
thoughts: & less wrong seemeth it to be destitute of the
thing which was never obtained than to be deprived of a jewel
whereof we have been already possessed. So that, under your
correction, I might conclude that greater hath been my grief
& injury sustained than that of the Knight."
To whom F. J. replied, "As touching
delight, it may not be denied but that every lover doth take
delight in the inward contemplation of his mind to think of
the worthiness of his beloved, & therefore you may not
allege that the Knight had never cause to rejoice unless you
will altogether condemn yourself of unworthiness. Marry, if
you will say that he tasted not the delights that lovers seek,
then mark, who was the cause but yourself? And if you would
accuse him of like ingratitude, for that he disdained you
in the latter vii. years when as he might by accepting your
love have recompensed himself of all former wrongs, you must
remember therewithal that the cruelty by you showed towards
him was such that could by no means perceive that your change
proceeded of good will, but rather eftsoons to hold him enchained
in unknown links of subtle dealings, & therefore not without
cause he doubted you: & yet without cause you rejected
him. He had often sought occasion, but by your refusals he
could never find him: you having occasion fast by the foretop
did dally with him so long, till at last he slipped his head
from you. & then catching at the bald noddle, you found
yourself the cause, & yet you would accuse another. To
conclude, greater is the grief that is sustained without desert
and much more is the wrong that is offered without cause."
Thus F. J. decided the question propounded
by Pergo & expected that some other Dame should propound
another: but his mistress (having her hand on another halfpenny)
gan thus say unto him. "Servant, this pastime is good,
and such as I must needs like of, to drive away your pensive
thoughts: but sleeping time approacheth & I fear we disquiet
you, wherefore the rest of this time we will (if so like you)
bestow in trimming up your bed, and tomorrow we shall meet
here and renew this new begun game with Madame Pergo."
"Mistress," quoth F. J., "I
must obey your will, and most humbly thank you of your great
goodness and all these Ladies for their courtesy: even so,
requiring you that you will no further trouble yourselves
about me, but let my servant alone with conducting me to bed."
"Yes, servant," quoth she, "I
will see if you can sleep any better in my sheets," and
therewith commanded her handmaid to fetch a pair of clean
sheets. The which being brought (marvelous fine and sweet),
the Ladies Frances and Eleanor did courteously unfold them
and laid them on the bed, which done, they also entreated
F. J. to unclothe him and go to bed.
Being laid, his Mistress dressed and couched
the clothes about him, sithens moistened his temples with
rosewater, gave him handkerchiefs and other fresh linen about
him, in doing whereof, she whispered in his ear, saying: "Servant,
this night I will be with thee," and after with the rest
of the Dames gave him good night and departed, leaving F.
J. in a trance between hope and despair, trust and mistrust.
Thus he lay ravished, commanding his servant
to go to bed, and feigning that himself would assay if he
could sleep. About ten or eleven of the clock came his Mistress
in her night gown, who, knowing all privy ways in that house
very perfectly, had conveyed herself into F. J.'s chamber
unseen and unperceived, and being now come unto his bedside,
kneeled down, and laying her arm over him said these or like
words: "My good Servant, if thou knewest what perplexities
I suffer in beholding of thine infirmities, it might then
suffice either utterly to drive away thy malady or much more
to augment thy griefs. For I know thou lovest me, and I think
also that thou hast had sufficient proof of mine unfeigned
good will, in remembrance whereof I fall into sundry passions:
First, I count the happy lots of our first acquaintance, and
therein I call to mind the equality of our affections, for
I think that there were never two lovers conjoined with freer
consent on both parties: and if my overhasty delivery of yielding
words be not wrested hereafter to my condemnation, I can then
assure myself to escape forever without desert of any reproof:
herewithal I can not forget the sundry adventures happened
since we became one heart divided in two bodies, all which
have been both happily achieved and delectably enjoyed. What
resteth then to consider but this thy present state? The first
corrosive that I have felt and the last cordial that I look
for, the end of my joys and the beginning of my torments."
And hereat her salt tears gan bathe the
dying lips of her servant: who hearing these words and well
considering her demeanor, began now to accuse himself of such
and so heinous treason as that his guilty heart was constrained
to yield unto a just scourge for the same. He swooned under
her arm: the which when she perceived, it were hard to tell
what fears did most affright her.
But I have heard my friend F. J. confess
that he was in a happy trance, and thought himself for divers
causes unhappily revived. For surely I have heard him affirm
that to die in such a passion had been rather pleasant than
like to pangs of death. It were hard now to rehearse how he
was revived, since there were none present but he dying, who
could not declare, & she living, who would not disclose
so much as I mean to bewray. For my friend F. J. hath to me
imported that, returning to life, the first thing which he
felt was that his good mistress lay pressing his breast with
the whole weight of her body and biting his lips with her
friendly teeth: and peradventure she refrained (either of
courtesy towards him, or for womanish fear to hurt her tender
hand) to strike him on the cheeks in such sort as they do
that strive to call again a dying creature: and therefore
thought this the aptest mean to reduce him unto remembrance.
F. J., now awaked, could no less do than
of his courteous nature receive his Mistress into his bed.
Who, as one that knew that way better than how to help his
swooning, gan gently strip off her clothes, and lovingly embracing
him gan demand of him in this sort. "Alas, good Servant,"
quoth she, "what kind of malady is this that so extremely
doth torment thee?"
F. J. with fainting speech answered: "Mistress,
as for my malady, it hath been easily cured by your bountiful
medicines applied. But I must confess that in receiving that
guerison at your hands I have been constrained to fall into
an Ecstasy through the galding remembrance of mine own unworthiness.
Nevertheless, good Mistress, since I perceive such fidelity
remaining between us as that few words will persuade such
trust as lovers ought to embrace, let these few words suffice
to crave your pardon, and do eftsoons pour upon me, your unworthy
servant, the abundant waves of your accustomed clemency: for
I must confess that I have so highly offended you as, but
your goodness surpass the malice of my conceits, I must remain
(and that right worthily) to the severe punishment of my deserts:
and so should you but lose him who hath cast away himself
and neither can accuse you nor dare excuse himself of the
crime."
Dame Eleanor, who had rather have found
her servant perfectly revived than thus with strange conceits
encumbered, and musing much at his dark speech, became importunate
to know the certainty of his thoughts.
And F. J., as one not master of himself,
gan at the last plainly confess how he had mistrusted the
change of her vowed affections. Yea, and that more was, he
plainly expressed with whom, of whom, by whom, and to whom
she bent her better liking.
Now, here I would demand of you and such
other as are expert: Is there any greater impediment to the
fruition of a lover's delights than to be mistrusted? or rather,
is it not the ready way to erase all love and former good
will out of remembrance to tell a guilty mind that you do
mistrust it? It should seem yes by Dame Eleanor, who began
now to take the matter hotly. And of such vehemency were her
fancies that she now fell into flat defiance with F. J., who
although he sought by many fair words to temper her choleric
passions, and by yielding himself to get the conquest of another,
yet could he by no means determine the quarrel.
The soft pillows, being present at all these
hot words, put forth themselves as mediators for a truce between
these enemies and desired that (if they would needs fight)
it might be in their presence but only one push of the pike,
and so from thenceforth to become friends again forever. But
the Dame denied flatly, alleging that she found no cause at
all to use such courtesy unto such a recreant, adding further
many words of great reproach. The which did so enrage F. J.
as that, having now forgotten all former courtesies, he drew
upon his new professed enemy and bare her up with such a violence
against the bolster, that before she could prepare the ward,
he thrust her through both hands, and &c.
Whereby the Dame, swooning for fear, was
constrained (for a time) to abandon her body to the enemy's
courtesy. At last when she came to herself, she rose suddenly
and determined to save her self by flight, leaving F. J. with
many despiteful words and swearing that he should never (eftsoons)
take her at the like advantage, the which oath she kept better
than her former professed good will. And having now recovered
her chamber, because she found her hurt to be nothing dangerous,
I doubt not but she slept quietly the rest of the night. As
F. J. also, persuading himself that he should with convenient
leisure recover her from this haggard conceit, took some better
rest towards the morning than he had done in many nights forepast.
So let them both sleep whiles I turn my
pen unto the before named Secretary, who being (as I said)
come lately from London, had made many proffers to renew his
accustomed consultations: but the sorrow which his Mistress
had conceived in F. J. his sickness, together with her continual
repair to him during the same, had been such lets unto his
attempts as it was long time before he could obtain audience.
At the last, these new accidents fell so favorably for the
furtherance of his cause that he came to his Mistress presence,
and there pleaded for himself. Now, if I should at large write
his allegations together with her subtle answers, I should
but cumber your ears with unpleasant rehearsal of feminine
frailty. To be short, the late disdainful mode which she had
conceived against F. J., together with a scruple which lay
in her conscience touching the xi. article of her belief,
moved her presently with better will to consult with this
Secretary, as well upon a speedy revenge of her late received
wrongs as also upon the reformation of her religion. And in
very deed, it fell out that the Secretary having been of long
time absent, & thereby his quills & pens not worn
so near as they were wont to be, did now prick such fair large
notes that his Mistress liked better to sing fa-burden under
him than to descant any longer upon F. J. plainsong.
And thus they continued in good accord until
it fortuned that Dame Frances came into her chamber upon such
sudden as she had like to have marred all the music. Well,
they conveyed their clefs as closely as they could, but yet
not altogether without some suspicion given to the said dame
Frances, who although she could have been content to take
any pain in F. J.'s behalf, yet otherwise she would never
have bestowed the watching about so worthless a prise.
After womanly salutations, they fell into
sundry discourses, the Secretary still abiding in the chamber
with them. At last, two or three other gentlewomen of the
Castle came into Madam Eleanor's chamber, who after their
Bon jour did all una voce seem to lament the sickness of F.
J. and called upon the Dames Eleanor and Frances to go visit
him again. The Lady Frances courteously consented, but Madame
Eleanor first alleged that she herself was also sickly, the
which she attributed to her late pains taken about F. J.,
and said that only for that cause she was constrained to keep
her bed longer than her accustomed hour.
The Dames (but especially the Lady Frances)
gan straight ways conjecture some great cause of sudden change,
and so leaving dame Eleanor, walked altogether into the park
to take the air of the morning. And as they thus walked it
chanced that Dame Pergo heard a Cuckoo chant, who (because
the pride of the spring was now past) cried "Cuck cuck
Cuckoo" in her stammering voice.
"Aha," quoth Pergo, "this
foul bird begins to fly the country, and yet before her departure
see how spitefully she can devise to salute us."
"Not us," quoth Dame Frances,
"but some other whom she hath espied."
Wherewith Dame Pergo, looking round about
her and espying none other company, said, "Why, here
is nobody but we few women," quoth she.
"Thanks be to God the house is not
far from us," quoth Dame Frances.
Hereat the wily Pergo, partly perceiving
Dame Frances meaning, replied on this sort: "I understand
you not," quoth she, "but to leap out of this matter,
shall we go visit Master F. J. and see how he doth this morning?"
"Why," quoth dame Frances, "do
you suppose that the Cuckoo called unto him?"
"Nay, marry," quoth Pergo, for
(as far as I know) he is not married."
"As who should say," quoth Dame
Frances, "that the Cuckoo envieth none but married folks."
"I take it so," said Pergo.
The Lady Frances answered, "Yes, sure
I have noted as evil luck in love after the cuckoos call to
have happened unto divers unmarried folks as ever I did unto
the married: but I can be well content that we go unto Master
J., for I promised on the behalf of us all that we would use
our best devoir to recomfort him until he had recovered health,
and I do much marvel that the Lady Eleanor is now become so
unwilling to take any travail in his behalf, especially remembering
that but yesternight she was so diligent to bring him to bed.
But I perceive that all earthly things are subject unto change."
"Even so they be," quoth Pergo,
"for you may behold the trees which but even this other
day were clad in gladsome green, and now their leaves begin
to fade and change color."
Thus they passed talking and walking until
they returned unto the Castle, whereas they went straight
unto F. J.'s chamber & found him in bed. "Why how
now, Trust," quoth Dame Frances, "will it be no
better?"
"Yes, shortly, I hope," quoth
F. J..
The Ladies all saluted him & he gave
them the gramercy. At the last, Pergo popped this question
unto him: "And how have you slept in your Mistress' sheets,
Master F. J.?" quoth she. "Reasonable well,"
quoth F. J., "but I pray you, where is my Mistress this
morning?"
"Marry," said Pergo, "we
left her in bed scarce well at ease."
"I am the more sorry," quoth F.
J..
"Why, Trust," said Mistress Frances,
"be of good comfort, and assure yourself that here are
others who would be as glad of your well doing as your Mistress
in any respect."
"I ought not to doubt thereof,"
quoth F. J., "having the proof that I have had of your
great courtesies, but I thought it my duty to ask for my Mistress
being absent."
Thus they passed some time with him until
they were called away unto prayers, and that being finished
they went to dinner, where they met Dame Eleanor attired in
a night kerchief after the sullenest (the solemnest fashion
I should have said), who looked very drowsily upon all folks
unless it were her secretary, unto whom she deigned sometime
to lend a friendly glance.
The Lord of the Castle demanded of her how
F. J. did this morning. She answered that she knew not, for
she had not seen him that day.
"You may do well then, daughter,"
quoth the Lord, "to go now unto him & to assay if
he will eat any thing, & if here be no meats that like
him, I pray you command for him any thing that is in my house."
"You must pardon me sir," quoth
she, "I am sickly disposed, and would be loath to take
the air."
"Why then, go you, Mistress Frances,"
quoth he, "and take somebody with you: and I charge you
see that he lack nothing."
Mistress Frances was glad of the ambassade,
& arising from the table with one other gentlewoman, took
with her a dish of chickens boiled in white broth, saying
to her father, "I think this meat meetest for Master
J. of any that is here."
"It is so," quoth he, "daughter,
and if he like not that cause somewhat else to be dressed
for him according to his appetite."
Thus she departed and came to F. J. who,
being plunged in sundry woes and thrilled with restless thoughts,
was now beginning to arise: but, seeing the Dames, couched
down again and said unto them, "Alas, fair Ladies, you
put yourselves to more pains than either I do desire or can
deserve."
"Good Trust," quoth Dame Frances,
"our pains are no greater than duty requireth nor yet
so great as we could vouchsafe in your behalf, and presently
my father hath sent us unto you," quoth she, "with
this pittance, and if your appetite desire any one thing more
than other, we are to desire likewise that you will not refrain
to call for it."
"Oh, my good Hope," quoth he,
"I perceive that I shall not die as long as you may make
me live."
And being now some deal recomforted with
the remembrance of his Mistress' words which she had used
over night at her first coming, and also thinking that although
she parted in choler, it was but justly provoked by himself,
and that at leisure he should find some salve for that sore
also, he determined to take the comfort of his assured Hope
and so to expel all venoms of mistrust before received. Wherefore,
raising himself in his bed, he cast a nightgown about his
shoulders, saying: "It shall never be said that my fainting
heart can reject the comfortable Cordials of so friendly physicians."
"Now by my troth, well said, gentle
Trust," quoth Dame Frances, "and in so doing assure
yourself of guerison with speed."
This thus said, the courteous Dame became
his carver, & he with a bold spirit gan taste of her cookery,
but the late conflicts of his conceits had so disacquainted
his stomach from repasts that he could not well away with
meat: and yet nevertheless by little & little received
some nurture. When his Hope had crammed him as long as she
could make him feed, they delivered the rest to the other
gentlewoman, who, having not dined, fell to her provender.
In which meanwhile the Lady Frances had much comfortable speech
with F. J. and declared that she perceived very well the cause
of his malady.
"But, my Trust," quoth she, "be
all whole, and remember what I foretold you in the beginning.
Nevertheless you must think that there are remedies for all
mischiefs, and if you will be ruled by mine advise, we will
soon find the mean to ease you of this mishap."
F. J. took comfort in her discretion, and,
friendly kissing her hand, gave her a cartload of thanks for
her great good will, promising to put to his uttermost force
and evermore to be ruled by her advise. Thus they passed the
dinner while, the Lady Frances always refusing to declare
her conceit of the late change which she perceived in his
Mistress, for she thought best first to win his will unto
conformity by little and little, and then in the end to persuade
him with necessity. When the other gentlewoman had victualed
her, they departed, requiring F. J. to arise and boldly to
resist the faintness of his fever, the which he promised and
so bade them a Dio.
The Ladies at their return found the court
in Dame Eleanor's chamber, who had there assembled her secretary,
Dam Pergo, and the rest. There they passed an hour or twain
in sundry discourses, wherein Dame Pergo did always cast out
some bone for Mistress Frances to gnaw upon, for that indeed
she perceived her hearty affection towards F. J., whereat
Mistress Frances changed no countenance but reserved her revenge
until a better opportunity.
At last quoth Dame Frances unto Mistress
Eleanor, "And when will you go unto your servant, fair
Lady?"
"When he is sick and I am whole,"
quoth Dame Eleanor.
"That is even now," quoth the
other, "for how sick he is yourself can witness: and
how well you are, we must bear record."
"You may as well be deceived in my
disposition," quoth Dame Eleanor, "as I was overseen
in his sudden alteration. And if he be sick you are meetest
to be his physician: for you saw yesterday that my pains did
little profit towards his recomfort."
"Yes, surely," said the other,
"not only I but all the rest had occasion to judge that
your courtesy was his chief comfort."
"Well," quoth Dame Eleanor, "you
know not what I know."
"Nor you what I think," quoth
Dame Frances.
"Think what you list," quoth Eleanor.
"Indeed," quoth Frances, "I
may not think that you care, neither will I die for your displeasure."
And so half angry she departed.
At supper they met again, and the Master
of the house demanded of his daughter Frances how F. J. did?
"Sir," quoth she, "he did
eat somewhat at dinner, and sithens I saw him not."
"The more to blame," quoth he,
"and now I would have all you gentlewomen take of the
best meats and go sup with him, for company driveth away carefulness;
and leave you me here with your leavings alone."
"Nay, sir," quoth Mistress Eleanor,
"I pray you give me leave to bear you company, for I
dare not adventure thither."
The Lord of the Castle was contented
& dispatched away the rest: who taking with them such
viands as they thought meetest, went unto F. J.'s chamber,
finding him up and walking about to recover strength, whereat
Dame Frances rejoiced and declared how her father had sent
that company to attend him at supper. F.
J. gave great thanks and, missing now nothing but his Mistress,
thought not good yet to ask for her, but because he partly
guessed the cause of her absence he contented himself, hoping
that when his lure was new garnished he should easily reclaim
her from those coy conceits. They passed over their supper
all in quiet, and soon after, Mistress Frances, being desirous
to requite Dame Pergo's quips, requested that they might continue
the pastime which Dame Pergo had begun over night. Whereunto
they all consented, and the lot fell unto Dame Frances to
propound the second question, who addressing her speech unto
F. J. said in this wise:
"Noble governor, I will rehearse
unto you a strange history, not feigned, neither borrowed
out of any old authority, but a thing done indeed of late
days and not far distant from this place where we now remain.
It chanced that a gentleman, our neighbor, being married to
a very fair gentlewoman, lived with her by the space of four
or five years in great contentation, trusting her no less
than he loved her and yet loving her as much as any man could
love a woman. On that other side, the gentlewoman had won
(unto her beauty) a singular commendation for her chaste and
modest behavior. Yet it happened in time that a lusty young
gentleman (who very often resorted to them) obtained that
at her hands which never any man could before him attain:
and to be plain, he won so much in her affections that, forgetting
both her own duty and her husband's kindness, she yielded
her body at the commandment of this lover, in which pastime
they passed long time by their politic government.
"At last, the friends of this Lady
(and especially three sisters which she had) espied overmuch
familiarity between the two lovers, and, dreading lest it
might break out to their common reproach, took their sister
apart and declared that the world did judge scarce well of
the repair of that gentleman unto her house: and that if she
did not foresee it in time, she should not only lose the good
credit which she herself had hitherto possessed, but furthermore
should destain their whole race with common obloquy and reproach.
These and sundry other godly admonitions of these sisters
could not sink in the mind of this gentlewoman, for she did
not only stand in defiance what any man could think of her
but also seemed to accuse them that because they saw her estimation
(being their younger) to grow above their own, they had therefore
devised this mean to set variance between her husband and
her.
"The sisters, seeing their wholesome
counsel so rejected and her continue still in her obstinate
opinion, addressed their speech unto her husband, declaring
that the world judged not the best, neither they themselves
did very well like, of the familiarity between their sister
and that gentleman, and therefore advised him to forecast
all perils and in time to forbid him his house. The husband
(on that other side) had also conceived such a good opinion
of his guest & had grown into such a strict familiarity
with him that you might with more ease have removed a stone
wall than once to make him think amiss either of his wife
or of her lover. Yea, and immediately after this conference,
he would not stick thus to say unto his wife: 'Bess,' (for
so indeed was her name) 'thou hast three such busy-brained
sisters as I think shortly their heads will break: they would
have me to be jealous of thee. No, no, Bess, &c.' So that
he was not only far from any such belief, but furthermore
did every day increase his courtesies towards the lover. The
sisters, being thus on all sides rejected and yet perceiving
more and more an unseemly behavior between their sister and
her minion, began to melt in their own grease: and such was
their enraged pretence of revenge that they suborned divers
servants in the house to watch so diligently as that this
treason might be discovered.
"Amongst the rest, one maid of subtle
spirit had so long watched them that at last she espied them
go into a chamber together and lock the door to them. Whereupon
she ran with all haste possible to her Master and told him
that if he would come with her, she would show him a very
strange sight. The gentleman (suspecting nothing) went with
her until he came into a chamber near unto that wherein they
had shut themselves, and she, pointing her Master to the keyhole,
bade him look through, where he saw the thing which most might
mislike him to behold. Whereat he suddenly drew his Dagger
and turned towards the maid, who fled from him for fear of
mischief: but when he could not overtake her in the heat of
his choler, he commanded that she should forthwith truss up
that little which she had and to depart his service. And before
her departure, he found means to talk with her, threatening
that if ever she spake any word of this mystery in any place
where she should come, it should cost her life. The maid for
fear departed in silence, and the Master never changed countenance
either to his wife or to her paramour, but feigned unto his
wife that he had turned away the maid upon that sudden for
that she had thrown a Kitchen knife at him whiles he went
about to correct a fault in her &c.
"Thus the good gentleman drank up his
own sweat unseen every day, increasing courtesy to the lover
and never changing countenance to his wife in any thing but
only that he refrained to have such knowledge of her carnally
as he in times past had and other men have of their wives.
In this sort he continued by the space almost of half a year,
nevertheless lamenting his mishap in solitary places. At last
(what moved him I know not), he fell again to company with
his wife as other men do, and, as I have heard it said, he
used this policy: every time that he had knowledge of her,
he would leave either in the bed, or in her cushioncloth,
or by her looking glass, or in some place where she must needs
find it, a piece of money, which then was fallen to three
halfpence and I remember they called the Slips. Thus he dealt
with her continually by the space of four or five months,
using her nevertheless very kindly in all other respects &
providing for her all things necessary at the first call:
But unto his guest he still augmented his courtesy, in such
sort, that you would have thought them to be sworn brothers.
"All this notwithstanding, his wife
much musing at these three half penny pieces which she found
in this sort, and furthermore having sundry times found her
husband in solitary places making great lamentation, she grew
inquisitive what should be the secret cause of these alterations:
unto who he would none otherwise answer but that any man should
find occasion to be more pensive at one time than at another.
The wife, notwithstanding increasing her suspect, imported
the same unto her lover, alleging therewithal that she doubted
very much lest her husband had some vehement suspicion of
their affairs. The lover encouraged her, & likewise declared
that if she would be importunate to enquire the cause her
husband would not be able to keep it from her: and having
now thoroughly instructed her, she dealt with her husband
in this sort.
"One day when she knew him to be in
his study alone, she came in to him, and having fast locked
the door after her and conveyed the key into her pocket, she
began first with earnest entreaty, and then with tears, to
crave that he would no longer keep from her the cause of his
sudden alteration. The husband dissimuled the matter still.
At last she was so earnest to know for what cause he left
money in such sort at sundry times that he answered on this
wise:
"'Wife,' quoth he, 'thou knowest how
long we have ben married together & how long I made so
dear account of thee as ever man made of his wife; since which
days, thou knowest also how long I refrained thy company,
and how long again I have used thy company leaving the money
in this sort, and the cause is this: So long as thou didst
behave thyself faithfully towards me, I never loathed thy
company, but sithens I have perceived thee to be a harlot.
& therefore did I for a time refrain and forbear to lie
with thee. & now I can no longer forbear it, I do give
thee every time that I lie with thee a slip, which is to make
thee understand thine own whoredom. And this reward is sufficient
for a whore.'
"The wife began stoutly to stand at
defiance, but the husband cut off her speech and declared
when, where, and how he had seen it. Hereat the woman, being
abashed and finding her conscience guilty of as much as he
had alleged, fell down on her knees, & with most bitter
tears craved pardon, confessing her offence. Whereat her husband,
moved with pity & melting likewise in floods of lamentation,
recomforted her, promising that if from that day forwards
she would be true unto him, he would not only forgive al that
was past, but become more tender & loving unto her than
ever he was.
"What do I tarry so long? They became
of accord: & in full accomplishment thereof, the gentlewoman
did altogether eschew the company, the speech, & (as much
as in her lay) the sight of her lover, although her husband
did continue his courtesy towards him and often charged his
wife to make him fair semblance. The lover was now only left
in perplexity, who knew nothing what might be the cause of
all these changes, & that most grieved him, he could by
no means obtain again the speech of his desired: he watched
all opportunities, he suborned messengers, he wrote letters,
but all in vain. In the end, she caused to be declared unto
him a time and place where she would meet him and speak with
him.
"Being met, she put him in remembrance
of all that had passed between them; she laid also before
him how trusty she had been unto him in all professions; she
confessed also how faithfully he had discharged the duty of
a friend in all respects; and therewithal she declared that
her late alteration and pensiveness of mind was not without
great cause, for that she had of late such a mishap as might
change the disposition of any living creature. Yea, and that
the case was such as unless she found present remedy her death
must needs ensue and that speedily: for the preventing whereof,
she alleged that she had beaten her brains with all devises
possible, and that in the end she could think of no redress
but one, the which lay only in him to accomplish. Wherefore
she besought him, for all the love and good will which passed
between them, now to show the fruits of true friendship and
to gratify her with a free grant to this request. The lover,
who had always been desirous to pleasure her in any thing,
but now especially, to recover her wonted kindness, gan frankly
promise to accomplish any thing that might be to him possible,
yea, though it were to his great detriment: and therewithal
did deeply blame her in that she would so long torment herself
with any grief, considering that it lay in him to help it.
The Lady answered that she had so long kept it from his knowledge
because she doubted whether he would be contented to perform
it or not, although it was such a thing as he might easily
grant without any manner of hurt to himself: & yet that
now in the end she was forced to adventure upon his courtesy,
being no longer able to bear the burden of her grief. The
lover solicited her most earnestly to disclose it, and she
(as fast) seemed to mistrust that he would not accomplish
it.
"In the end, she took out a book (which
she had brought for the nonce) and bound him by oath to accomplish
it. The lover, mistrusting nothing less than that ensued,
took the oath willingly. Which done, she declared all that
had passed between her & her husband: his grief, her repentance,
his pardon, her vow, & in the end of her tale, enjoined
the lover that from thenceforthwards he should never attempt
to break her constant determination. The lover replied that
this was unpossible. But she plainly assured him that if he
granted her that request, she would be his friend in all honest
& godly wise; if not, she put him out of doubt that she
would eschew his company & fly from his sight as from
a scorpion.
"The lover, considering that her request
was but just, accusing his own guilty conscience, remembering
the great courtesies always used by her husband, & therewithal
seeing the case now brought to such an issue as that by none
other means than by this it could be concealed from knowledge
of the world -- but most of all, being urged by his oath --
did at last give an unwilling consent & yet a faithful
promise to yield unto her will in all things. And thus being
become of one assent, he remaineth the dearest friend &
most welcome guest that may be, both to the Lady & her
husband, and the man & wife so kind each to other as if
there never had been such a breach between them.
"Now, of you, noble Governor, I would
fain learn whether the perplexity of the husband when he looked
in at the key hole, or of the wife when she knew the cause
why the slips were so scattered, or of the lover when he knew
what was his Mistress' charge, was greater of the three? I
might have put in also the troubled thoughts of the sisters
& the maid when they saw their good will rejected, but
let these three suffice."
"Gentle Hope," quoth F. J., "you
have rehearsed (& that right eloquently) a notable tale,
or rather a notable history, because you seem to affirm that
it was done in deed of late & not far hence. Wherein I
note five especial points: that is, a marvelous patience in
the husband, no less repentance in the wife, no small boldness
of the maid, but much more rashness in the sisters, and last
of all, a rare tractability in the lover. Nevertheless, to
return unto your question, I think the husband's perplexity
greatest, because his losses abounded above the rest &
his injuries were uncomparable."
The Lady Frances did not seem to contrary
him, but rather smiled in her sleeve at Dame Pergo, who had
no less patience to hear the tale recited than the Lady Frances
had pleasure in telling of it, but I may not rehearse the
cause why unless I should tell all.
By this time, the sleeping hour approached
& the Ladies prepared their departure, when as mistress
Frances said unto F. J., "Although percase I shall not
do it so handsomely as your mistress, yet good Trust,"
quoth she, "if you vouchsafe it, I can be content to
trim up your bed in the best manner that I may, as one who
would be as glad as she to procure your quiet rest."
F. J. gave her great thanks, desiring her
not to trouble herself, but to let his man alone with that
charge. Thus they departed, and how all parties took rest
that night I know not. But in the morning, F. J. began to
consider with himself that he might lie long enough in his
bed before his mistress would be appeased in her peevish conceits.
Wherefore he arose &, being apparelled in his nightgown,
took occasion to walk in the gallery near adjoining unto his
Mistress chamber: but there might he walk long enough ere
his mistress would come to walk with him.
When dinner time came, he went into the
great chamber, whereas the Lord of the castle saluted him,
being joyful of his recovery. F. J., giving due thanks, declared
that his friendly entertainment together with the great courtesy
of the gentlewomen was such as might revive a man although
he were half dead.
"I would be loath," quoth the
host, "that any gentleman coming to me for good will
should want any courtesy of entertainment that lieth in my
power."
When the meat was served to the table, the
gentlewomen came in; all but Dame Eleanor & mistress Pergo,
the which F. J. marked very well, & it did somewhat abate
his appetite. After dinner, his Hope came unto him and demanded
of him how he would pass the day for his recreation? To whom
he answered, even as it best pleased her. She devised to walk
into the park & so by little & little to acquaint
himself with the air. He agreed & they walked together,
being accompanied with one or two other gentlewomen.
Here (lest you should grow in some wrong
conceit of F. J.), I must put you out of doubt that although
there were now more cause that he should mistrust his mistress
than ever he had before received, yet the vehement passions
which he saw in her when she first came to visit him &,
moreover, the earnest words which she pronounced in his extremity,
were such a refreshing to his mind as that he determined no
more to trouble himself with like conceits: concluding further
that if his mistress were not faulty, then had he committed
a foul offence in needless jealousy, & that if she were
faulty (especially with the Secretary), then no persuasion
could amend her nor any passion help him: and this was the
cause that enabled him, after such passing pangs, to abide
the doubtful conclusion thus manfully, and valiantly to repress
faintness of his mind: nothing doubting but that he should
have won his Mistress to pardon his presumption & lovingly
to embrace his service in wonted manner. But he was far deceived,
for she was now in another tune; the which Mistress Frances
began partly to discover unto him as they walked together:
for she burdened him that his malady proceeded only of a disquiet
mind.
"And if it did so, my gentle Hope,"
quoth he, "what remedy?
"My good Trust," quoth she, "none
other but to plant quiet where disquiet began to grow."
"I have determined so," quoth
he, "but I must crave the help of your assured friendship."
"Thereof you may make account,"
quoth she, "but wherein?"
F. J., walking apart with her, began to
declare that there was some contention happened between his
mistress & him. The Lady told him that she was not ignorant
thereof. Then he desired her to treat so much in that cause
as they might eftsoons come to Parley.
"Thereof I dare assure you," quoth
Mistress Frances.
And at their return, she led F. J. into
his Mistress' chamber, whom they found lying on her bed, whether
galded with any grief, or weary of the thing which you wot
of I know not, but there she lay, unto who F. J. gave two
or three salutations before she seemed to mark him.
At last said the Lady Frances unto her,
"Your servant hearing of your sickness hath adventured
thus far into the air to see you."
"I thank him," quoth Dame Eleanor,
& so lay still, refusing to give him any countenance.
Whereat F. J., perceiving all the other
gentlewomen fall to whispering, thought good boldly to plead
his own case, &, approaching the bed, began to enforce
his unwilling mistress unto courtesy, wherein he used such
vehemence as she could not well by any means refuse to talk
with him. But what their talk was, I may not take upon me
to tell you unless you would have me fill up a whole volume
only with his matters, and I have dilated them over largely
already. Sufficeth this to be known, that in the end she pretended
to pass over all old grudges & thenceforth to pleasure
him as occasion might serve. The which occasion was so long
in happening that in the end F. J., being now eftsoons troubled
with unquiet fantasies, & forced to use his pen again
as an Ambassador between them, one day amongst the rest found
opportunity to thrust a letter into her bosom, wherein he
had earnestly requested another moonshine banquet or Friday's
breakfast to recomfort his dulled spirits. Whereunto the Dame
yielded this answer in writing, but of whose enditing judge
you.
I can but smile at your simplicity, who
burden your friends with an impossibility. The case so stood
as I could not though I would. Wherefore from henceforth
either learn to frame your request more reasonably, or else
stand content with a flat repulse.
SHE.
F. J. liked this letter but a little: and
being thereby droven into his accustomed vein, he compiled
in verse this answer following, upon these words contained
in her letter, "I could not though I would."
I could not though I would: Good Lady,
say not so,
Since one good word of your good will might soon redress
my woe.
Where would is free before, there could can never fail:
For proof, you see how galleys pass where ships can bear
no sail.
The weary mariner when skies are overcast
By ready will doth guide his skill and wins the haven at
last.
The pretty bird that sings with prick against her breast
Doth make a virtue of her need to watch when others rest.
And true the proverb is, which you have laid apart,
There is no hap can seem too hard unto a willing heart.
Then, lovely Lady mine, you say not as you should,
In doubtful terms to answer thus: I could not though I would.
Yes, yes, full well you know your can is quick and good,
And willful will is eke too swift to shed my guiltless blood.
But if good will were bent as press'd as power is,
Such will would quickly find the skill to mend that is amiss.
Wherefore if you desire to see my true love spilt,
Command and I will slay myself, that yours may be the guilt.
But if you have no power to say your servant nay,
Write thus: I may not as I would, yet must I as I may.
F. J.
Thus F. J. replied upon his Mistress answer,
hoping thereby to recover some favor at her hands, but it
would not be. So that now he had been as likely (as at the
first) to have fretted in fantasies, had not the Lady Frances
continually comforted him: and by little & little, she
drove such reason into his mind that now he began to subdue
his humors with discretion, and to determine that if he might
espy evident proof of his Mistress frailty, he would then
stand content with patience perforce, & give his Mistress
the Bezo las manos.
And it happened one day amongst others that
he resorted to his Mistress' chamber & found her (allo
solito) lying upon her bed, & the secretary with Dame
Pergo & her handmaid keeping of her company. Whereat F.
J. somewhat repining, came to her and fell to dalliance, as
one that had now rather adventure to be thought presumptuous
than yield to be accounted bashful. He cast his arm over his
Mistress and began to accuse her of sluggishness, using some
other bold parts as well to provoke her as also to grieve
the other. The Lady seemed little to delight in his dallying,
but cast a glance at her secretary and therewith smiled, when
as the Secretary & dame Pergo burst out into open laughter.
The which F. J. perceiving, and disdaining her ingratitude,
was forced to depart, and in that fantasy compiled this Sonnet.
With her in arms that had my heart in
hold,
I stood of late to plead for pity so.
And as I did her lovely looks behold,
She cast a glance upon my rival foe.
His fleering face provoked her to smile
When my salt tears were drowned in disdain:
He glad, I sad, he laugh'd; alas the while,
I wept for woe, I pin'd for deadly pain.
And when I saw none other boot prevail
But reason's rule must guide my skilful mind:
Why then, quoth I, old proverbs never fail,
For yet was never good Cat out of kind:
Nor woman true, but even as stories tell,
Won with an egg, and lost again with shell.
F. J.
This Sonnet declareth that he began now
to account of her as she deserved, for it hath a sharp conclusion,
and it is somewhat too general. Well, as it is he lost it
where his Mistress found it, and she immediately imparted
the same unto Dame Pergo, and Dame Pergo unto others: so that
it quickly became common in the house. Amongst others, Mistress
Frances, having recovered a copy of it, did seem to pardon
the generality and to be well pleased with the particularity
thereof. The which she bewrayed one day unto F. J. in this
wise:
"Of all the joys that ever I had, my
good Trust," quoth she, "there is none wherein I
take more comfort than in your conformity. And although your
present rage is such that you can be content to condemn a
number unknown for the transgression of one too well known,
yet I do rather rejoice that you should judge your pleasure
over many than to be abused by any."
"My good Hope," quoth he, "it
were not reason that, after such manifold proofs of your exceeding
courtesies, I should use strange or contentious speech with
so dear a friend, and indeed I must confess that the opinion
which I have conceived of my Mistress hath stirred my pen
to write very hardly against all the feminine gender, but
I pray you pardon me," quoth he, "& if it please
you I will recant it, as also (percase) I was but cloyed with
Surquedry and presumed to think more than may be proved."
"Yea, but how if it were proved?"
quoth Dame Frances.
"If it were so (which God forbid),"
quoth he, "then could you not blame me to conceive that
opinion."
"Howsoever I might blame you,"
quoth she, "I mean not to blame you. But I demand further,
if it be as I think & you suspect, what will you then
do?"
"Surely," quoth F. J., "I
have determined to drink up mine own sorrow secretly, and
to bid them both Adieu."
"I like your farewell better than your
fantasy," quoth she, "and whensoever you can be
content to take so much pains as the Knight which had a nightgown
guarded with naked swords did take, I think you may put yourself
out of doubt of all these things."
By these words and other speech which she
uttered unto him, F. J. smelt how the world went about, and
therefore did one day in the grey morning adventure to pass
through the gallery towards his Mistress' chamber, hoping
to have found the door open, but he found the contrary, and
there attending in good devotion, heard the parting of his
Mistress and her Secretary with many kind words: whereby it
appeared that the one was very loath to depart from the other.
F. J. was enforced to bear this burden, and after he had attended
there as long as the light would give him leave, he departed
also to his chamber, and, appareling himself, could not be
quiet until he had spoken with his Mistress, whom he burdened
flatly with this despiteful treachery: and she as fast denied
it, until at last being still urged with such evident tokens
as he alleged, she gave him this bone to gnaw upon:
"And if I did so," quoth she,
"what then?"
Whereunto F. J. made none answer, but departed
with this farewell: "My loss is mine own, and your gain
is none of yours, and sooner can I recover my loss than you
enjoy the gain which you gape after." And when he was
in place solitary, he compiled these following for a final
end of the matter.
And if I did, what then?
Are you aggriev'd therefore?
The Sea hath fish for every man,
And what would you have more?
Thus did my Mistress once
Amaze my mind with doubt
And popp'd a question for the nonce
To beat my brains about.
Whereto I thus replied:
Each fisherman can wish
That all the Sea at every tide
Were his alone to fish.
And so did I, in vain,
But since it may not be,
Let such fish there as find the gain,
And leave the loss for me.
And with such luck and loss
I will content myself
Till tides of turning time may toss
Such fishers on the shelf.
And when they stick on sands,
That every man may see:
Then will I laugh and clap my hands
As they do now at me.
F. J.
It is time now to make an end of this thriftless
History, wherein although I could wade much further, as to
declare his departure, what thanks he gave to his Hope, &c.,
yet I will cease, as one that had rather leave it unperfect
than make it too plain. I have past it over with quoth he
and quoth she, after my homely manner of writing, using sundry
names for one person, as the Dame, the Lady, Mistress, &c.,
The Lord of the Castle, the Master of the house, and the host.
Nevertheless ,for that I have seen good authors term every
gentlewoman a Lady and every gentleman domine, I have thought
it no greater fault then petty treason thus to intermingle
them, nothing doubting but you will easily understand my meaning,
and that is as much as I desire. Now henceforwards I will
trouble you no more with such a barbarous style in prose,
but will only recite unto you sundry verses written by sundry
gentlemen, adding nothing of mine own but only a title to
every Poem, whereby the cause of writing the same may the
more evidently appear. Neither can I declare unto you who
wrote the greatest part of them, for they are unto me but
a posy presented out of sundry gardens, neither have I any
other names of the flowers but such short notes as the authors
themselves have delivered thereby. If you can guess them,
it shall no way offend me. I will begin with this translation
as followeth....
G. T.
Opening of the revised version
of Master F.J. from The Posies (1575)
The pleasant Fable of Ferdinando Jeronomi
and Leonora de Valasco, translated out of the Italian riding
tales of Bartello.
In the pleasant Country of Lombardy, and
not far from the City of Florence, there was dwelling sometimes
a Lord of many rich Seignories and dominions, who nevertheless
bare his name of the Castle of Valasco. This Lord had one
only son and two daughters. His son was called (during the
life of his father) the heir of Valasco, who married a fair
Gentlewoman of the house of Bellavista named Leonora. The
elder daughter of the Lord of Valasco was called Francischina,
a young woman very toward both in capacity and other active
qualities. Now the Lord of Valasco, having already married
his son & heir, and himself drawing in age, was desirous
to see his daughters also bestowed before his death, and especially
the eldest, who both for beauty and ripeness of age might
often put him in remembrance that she was a collop of his
own flesh: and therefore sought means to draw unto his house
Ferdinando Jeronimi, a young gentleman of Venice, who delighting
more in hawking, hunting, and such other pastimes than he
did in study, had left his own house in Venice and was come
into Lombardy to take the pleasures of the country. So that
the Lord of Valasco knowing him to be of a very good parentage,
and therewithal not only rich but adorned with sundry good
qualities, was desirous (as is said) to draw him home to his
house (under pretence of hunting and hawking) to the end he
might behold his fair daughter Francischina: who both for
parentage and other worldly respects, might no less content
his mind than her beauty was likely to have allured his liking.But
it fell out far contrary to his desire, for Ferdinando Jeronimi
beholding the Lady Leonora, who was indeed very fair and of
a very courtlike behavior, became enamored of her, and forgetting
the courtesy that the Lord of Valasco had showed him in entertaining
him and his servants with their horses by the space of .iiii.
months (which is a rare courtesy nowadays, and especially
in such a country), he sought all means possible to make the
heir of Valasco a Becco. And to the end that all men may perceive
what fruits grow on such trees and what issues come of such
intents, I will set down in English the fable as it is written
in Italian by Bartello. And because I do suppose that Leonora
is the same name which we call Eleanor in English and that
Francischina also doth import none other than Frances, I will
so entitle them as to our own countrymen may be most perspicuous.Understand
you then, that Ferdinando, having now a hot affection unto
the said Dame Eleanor and thinking it meeter to utter his
first conceits in writing than in speech, did write unto her
as followeth....
Conclusion of the revised
version of Master F.J.
Thus Ferdinando, being no longer able to
bear these extreme despites, resolved to absent himself, as
well for his own further quiet as also to avoid the occasion
of greater mischiefs that might ensue. And although the exceeding
courtesies and approved fidelity of Dame Frances had been
sufficient to allure the fast liking of any man, especially
considering that she was reasonably fair and descended of
a worthy father, who now fell flatly to move and solicit the
same, yet such sinister conceits had he taken by the frailty
of Dame Eleanor as that rejecting all proffers and condemning
all courtesies, he took his leave &, without pretence
of return, departed to his house in Venice: spending there
the rest of his days in a dissolute kind of life, & abandoning
the worthy Lady Frances, who (daily being galled with the
grief of his great ingratitude) did shortly bring herself
into a miserable consumption: whereof (after three years languishing)
she died. Notwithstanding all which occurments, the Lady Eleanor
lived long in the continuance of her accustomed change: &
thus we see that where wicked lust doth bear the name of love,
it doth not only infect the light minded, but it may also
become confusion to others which are vowed to constancy. And
to that end I have recited this Fable which may serve as ensample
to warn the youthful reader from attempting the like worthless
enterprise. I know not how my rude translation thereof will
delight the finest judgments. But sure, as Bartello writteth
it in Italian, it is both pleasant and profitable: the which
hath made me adventure thus to publish the same in such simple
style as I am able to endite, desiring the gentle reader rather
to take example of reformation therein than to find fault
at the homely handling of the same.
Ever or never.
Resource Description |
| Author/Artist: George Gascoigne |
Media: |
| Date of Composition: |
Dimensions: |
| Original Course: |
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| Description: |
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| Category: |
Date of Publication/Exhibition: 1573 |
| Period/MA Field: Reading List 2: Renaissance
Literature |
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